She Went With No Other Man
by nekojco
Summary: Jane accuses Maura of being jealous of her relationship with recovered Casey, not realizing that it's Casey and not her that Maura is jealous of. Eventual Rizzles. Initially intended as an adventure, turned out it's more about the angst. I will not rush it though! It's my very first fanfic. Please review. Rating will build up to M :)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, blah blah... If I did we wouldn't be left hanging all the time!

* * *

She immediately jerked her head away. Maura didn't care if Jane felt the sharpness of her own words as she sighed. Maura didn't care if Jane regretted what she said. The detective's eyes were now roaming the room, adamantly refusing to meet her best friend's.

"You really think that?"

"You know I didn't mean it, Maur!" the Doctor heard Jane's raspy voice say. Maura was angry, yet she couldn't stop her eyes from tearing up. Jane had said and done many hurtful things in the past. Some of these cases were Maura's fault, really, for she had not admitted. Jane was an excellent detective, but failed to comprehend the feelings Maura had for her. And she hurt them, she did, but she never knew.

This time however, she hurt Maura's pride. And that wasn't going to be looked over. But the ME knew that if she helped heat up an argument, she could blurt out some things she shouldn't say and that could complicate things even more, now that Casey was back.

She grabbed her purse from where she left it, on Jane's couch, looking for the fastest, easiest escape.

"Stop, Maura, please. I'm sorry."

But Maura just headed to the door.

"Hey, hey, Maur. Talk to me. Please."

And Maura wanted to. She wanted to yell. But she could feel her voice breaking and she wasn't going to embarrass herself. She shut the door dramatically, smearing her makeup as she tried to wipe her tearful eyes.

The worst part was, Jane was right. Only not for the reasons she thought.

* * *

Jane's front door clicked twice, giving notice he was back and on the other side of it.

"What's wrong?" he said, noticing her sitting on the couch with slouched shoulders, in the company of several empty beer bottles.

Although her place always had visitors as Maura and her family used to drop by at any hour, Jane still hadn't gotten used to her new living arrangements. She barely got used to being in a relationship with Casey, let alone moving in with him. And now that he was dropping hints of planning to propose, she couldn't even imagine what kind of shifts her life would endure.

Jane just shook her head in place of an answer.

"What happened?"

How was she supposed to explain? What would Casey think of her afterwards? Was she really that mean?

She looked up at him.

"I fought with Maura." she whispered. Her words, spoken in the deepest of voices tore both her heart and the silence apart.

"It's okay, you guys will make up. You always do, right?"

"This is different."

"What did you fight about?"

"I... I just..." Jane stuttered. In all honesty, she didn't know how to explain. "I said some things."

"It's okay, baby, come on." he said, sitting down next to her, attempting to hug her and bring her closer. But she just kept still, resisting his attempts to get her to lean in to him. Cuddling wasn't gonna fix this.

"I called her jealous." she admitted, embarrassed.

"Why?"

"She was upset because I canceled on our plans yesterday, so we could go see that movie."

He didn't prompt for more, but now that she started, Jane felt it would be the easiest if she continued.

"I said... I said she was jealous because she can't find someone like I found you." She got up maybe a bit too fast. Her head rush forced her to close her eyes, but it didn't help. The image of Maura flew before her eyes in the very same moment. It made her feel even dizzier.

"Look Jane, I have a friend at work. He's young. Handsome. Single. We can go out Saturday night, the four of us."

Jane didn't bother to respond. She attacked the fridge for another beer.

"Baby maybe it's been enough for tonight, okay?" he called. "Let's um... Let's go to bed."

Jane felt him approaching her from the back, and soon his hands were enveloping her waist. Her neck was for some reason bothered by the soft sensations his lips evoked there.

"I'm sorry. Not tonight."

She pulled away, rejoining the couch.

* * *

"She appears to be around 17. Her body shows no signs of assault, sexual or otherwise. It has been, however, a subject to the use of illegal drugs."

"Heroin." Jane said, pointing at the inner arm.

"Yes. The test results do confirm that."

"So why'd they assign this to us? No wounds, no fight. Must have been an overdose."

"It wasn't."

"So what was it?"

"I don't know that yet."

Jane started pacing nervously, massaging her neck with her right arm. Maura's responses were sharp and short, not showing any intention of continuing discourse.

They had no chance to speak since they both got called in to the scene very early, and Jane had to struggle to act properly despite her hangover and raging headache. She wanted to apologize, to make up, but for that she needed the other side to acknowledge it.

"Maura?"

The ME kept looking at the reports in her hands. She didn't answer.

"Maura can we talk?"

Her gaze never left the files, not even bothering to meet Jane's. She barely took the time to politely send Jane off.

"I'm obviously in the middle of something, _detective_."

And there it was. The word they both knew set every private non-professional matter aside, as if it didn't exist.

"Oh, sorry for interrupting, _doctor_." she mumbled sarcastically as she pushed the door on her way out.

* * *

Her kitchen was clean. Her dishes were in the washer. The living room was tidied. Her closet was rearranged, Bass fed, and there was still plenty of time Maura had no use of and no distraction for. She couldn't even look at Jane today. Of course she had been jealous, but not of her friend, as Jane thought. She had been jealous of Casey. He was not only occupying her best friend's time, but her mind, her thoughts, her heart. All of her smiles directed to him now, all of the sleepovers at _their_ place, all of the evenings at _their_ dates. And that one occasion of the very few lately that Jane had set aside for some girls' time, she cancelled last minute. For a movie. With Casey.

Maura went in the kitchen, masochistically recalling all the Friday movie nights that were saved for just her and Jane. She didn't bother putting much thought into trying to decide which bottle of wine would help her drown her tears tonight. Not even a short minute of glancing through what she had available, she grabbed a random one. She wasn't going to pay too much attention to the aroma at this point.

Her couch was waiting for her to settle on it and Maura was just about to satisfy its purpose when her phone rang. She swiped the screen that flashed "Jane" to cancel the call, sighing at how childishly she was acting. But she really didn't feel like talking.

_"Can't I just enjoy the silence of..."_

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of her land-line ringing. She barely ever used it. Adamantly stubborn Jane, trying every mean to get what she wanted. And what was that anyways? To apologize for noting the obvious and stating it blankly? To make new evening arrangements and get the doctor's hopes up only to stomp on them once more? Maura was rational enough to know that letting Jane smooth talk her was in no way helpful.

But the phones kept ringing on, and despite being silenced, still obstructed Maura's tries to forget about the woman she loved. _"Maybe I should just answer, ask her to stop calling." _She closed her eyes, shaking her head in personal reprimand in regards to letting herself arrive at this situation, and she answered her cellphone.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own the characters, and the only profit I make of this is negative studying hours.

Short summary: Jane invites Maura to dinner but doesn't tell her its a double date. Maura is eager, but doesn't know what's in store for her yet.  
P.s. I'm NOT a fan of Casey either, but hey, hear me out. I just wanted to explore that POV. Rizzles will of course eventually happen.

* * *

"Dr. Isles."

"Maura, thank God, finally. Maur, I'm really sorry. I don't know what got into me. I'll make up for what I said, just tell me how, okay?" she jumped of her couch recklessly hitting her foot on the coffee table in the process. But her ramble received no response.

"Maura, you there?"

"Yes, I am."

"Please, please talk to me." she begged.

"I don't think we have anything to talk about, Jane." She sounded so cold and formal and it hurt Jane to remember the last time they conversed in such manner. She couldn't allow things to develop that way again.

"Look, I know I've been busy lately, and things just got in the way, but I... " she was speechless. She missed Maura, she really did. But Casey left little time for the rest of the people in her life. True, the surgery worked. True, he wasn't returning to work. True, he was having his life rearranged and it mostly centered around her. But she should have never let anything get into the way of her time with her best friend.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Maura was trying to end the conversation. Or was this intended to remind her that lately she did have another place to be most of the time. Was this a sneering way of pointing out that it was Maura who used to be there for her and who received no less of such treatment herself?

"Casey..." Jane started. The name made Maura's stomach turn and forced her to clear her throat and compose herself. _"He should have left her alone."_ she thought, but quickly rebuked her own contemplation. _"I should have done something first."_

"I believe that this conversation is next to pointless and since I tried but failed to recognize its purpose, I suggest you stop calling me. Bye Jane."

"Maura, no, don't hang up!" Jane scrambled. She heard Maura's sigh from the other end of the line and glad to realize the conversation was still ongoing she kept talking. "I um... We... Okay, Casey arranged for some get-together with some of his friends. And uh... " she tried to remember her boyfriend's words. "And it's Saturday night, so... tomorrow night."

"That's okay, we didn't have plans for Saturday."

"No, no, no. I didn't mean to cancel anything. I just.. just wanted to see if you'd like to come?"

The doctor was considering this for a few seconds, but to Jane it seemed that eons passed before the soft voice reached her ears again.

"Thank you. I will consider the offer and offer my answer promptly."

This wasn't fancy syntax or Google talk. It wasn't full of useless data and facts. And in face of this talk, Jane realized she missed the annoying smart mouth Maura often was.

But now she witnessed the tone Dr. Maura Isles reserved for those she had no intentions to contact on a personal level. It was a tone that she didn't need when they first met. It was a tone that told Jane things were bad.

"Maura, come on. It's me, okay? Don't do this."

She was met with more silence.

* * *

"Dammit Maura, you said you wanted to hang out and here I am asking you to join me and you go all weird on me. What else do you want from me?"

_"I want you to want the same." _Maura thought. But Jane was right. As distant and uninviting the plans seemed, they could still provide Maura some time with her. It was painful to watch her swoon over Casey, hold hands and hug around. But she cherished such pain more than the one that crept up to her when she was in the absence of the person she desired the most.

"I..." she started, composing herself, shaking the thoughts away. "I will try to make it. Just tell me the time and the place."

She heard Jane's relaxed laughter, immediately bringing an image of her in her mind.

It was pleasant, thinking of a smiling Jane. It was even more pleasant to know that she herself caused her friend's lips to curve up.

"Great! I'll call you tomorrow morning with details then. Good night."

"Sweet dreams." There was obvious incompatibility of the two words in the phrase. Dreams cannot provoke taste receptors. The synestesia in the expression didn't put Maura at comfort. Yet she genuinely hoped that Jane would enjoy the visions her brain molded as as she would a enjoy a sweet treat, so she chose to administer that expression.

The conversation was seemingly over, but they both stood there, smiling sheepishly with their phones still pressed on their ears. Each of them was aware of the other waiting, not wanting to cut the line first. It lasted for several seconds, plain moments devoid of words, yet complete, for words were not needed between them. And yet Maura dared utter them.

"I miss you, Jane."

"I miss you too, Maura." Jane said gently. "See you tomorrow." she added before hanging up hurriedly. After all, the doctor was very well aware of the detective's instinct to escape explicit displays of emotions.

* * *

The morning sun found her dark hair spread all over the pillow, and lightened her curls, making her even more beautiful. The man lying awake next to her wasn't oblivious to this. He wondered what good did he do to deserve someone like her.

He reached for her arm, gently trailing her smooth skin, marveling at her toned muscles. She was the strongest woman he knew. She could sweep him off his feet just by entering the room. And if she wanted, she could match him, maybe even overpower him. As these thoughts formed in his mind, he came to the realization that he would like that. He would like to be overpowered by Jane Rizzoli.

* * *

The morning sun found her bright hair spread all over the pillow, and lightened the honey shade, making her even more beautiful. She sat up in her bed, stretching herself, looking around the room trying to remember why she had a smile on her lips. Her eye caught the photo on the bedside table they took a long time ago, one summer day before jogging.

She reached for it, unconsciously caressing the other woman in the picture, trailing her smooth skin, marveling at her toned muscles. She was the strongest and most resilient woman she ever knew. She could sweep her off her feet just by entering the room. And, if she wanted, she could easily overpower her. As these thoughts formed in the blonde's mind, she came to the realization that she would like that. She would like to be overpowered by Jane Rizzoli.

* * *

"Frost told me you needed to see me. Got more info on the victim?" Jane exclaimed eagerly as she strolled through the morgue the next morning.

"Well I'm afraid that other than what we discussed before we left work yesterday, I have no new insights to offer. The lab is still running tests."

Maura looked up from the files she was studying, with a questioning expression on her peaceful face.

"But he said you needed to see me." Jane repeated, looking as intrigued.

"That is correct. I have a question for you." The doctor turned around, marching somewhat cheerfully to the office.

"Okay" Jane stammered, raising her eyebrows and throwing her head back, without a clue as to what this was about. She followed Maura into her office.

"It's about tonight." Maura answered the unspoken question, getting comfortable in her precious white leather chair.

Jane's eyes immediately grew a worried look. She thought that things were going to fall back in place now that Maura agreed for them to spend some time together. She wasn't expecting a cancellation, so the seriousness of her friend's tone was quite concerning. Jane didn't say anything. She just leaned back into the horribly uncomfortable artsy chair.

"Shoot."

"Just... a... second." Maura said as she was typing something into the computer. "I've been thinking about this for the entire morning and I realized..."

_"Here it comes... "_

"... that I need you to tell me the details now. And the dress code. And also, do you think that this long cocktail would go better at the get-together or should I go for something more casual? This dark blue, for example." The blonde blurted all of this out in one breath, tilting the monitor for Jane to see the images of the dresses she was considering. The detective was now staring at her friend with a ridiculously stupid smile on her face.

"What?" the voice was more high-pitched than usual.

"I've forgotten how excited you get about attire."

"Well?"

"I don't really know. I forgot to ask Casey. I'll call him now, okay?"

"Of course." Maura turned to Jane with a decisive stare that slightly intimidated the latter one. The calm hazel eyes had fierceness that could on occasion provoke such fear in the eyes of an observer.

"Go on then." she added when Jane hadn't moved a single bit, and with that, she got up and returned to the morgue.

* * *

"Hey." her voice was husky as always.

It was always nice to hear it. It had something about it that made people shudder or get goose bumps from head to toe or just quiet down and wait for more of it. With him it had all three effects.

"Hey baby."

"I forgot to tell you, I got Maura to come tonight. Could you call your friend?"

"Of course." _"Anything for you."_

"So what are we doing? Italian at, say, 8? That place 2 blocks down?"

She seemed to have things already thought up.

"The one where we went... before that night when..." He smiled, enjoying the recollection of one of their best dates.

He heard her giggle like a lovesick 15 year old. "Yeah." she answered with a playful tone.

"I'll make the reservations."

"Okay. See ya."

The line went dead. Casey scrolled through the list on his phone, finding his target. The name _Byron_ appeared on his screen as he pressed _call_.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews. Please add some more :). If there's anything I learned from JTam, it's that I'd make my audience happier if I take it into consideration.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Jane and Maura own me by now, not vice-versa.

* * *

Jane was having a hard time driving in her little black dress. Her body was restrained and uncomfortable, much unused to the tight-fitting wear, but she was getting into the practice of dressing up more frequently, plus she knew Maura liked her all dressed up. So therefore, she had two reasons for which to stifle the voices complaining in her head.

She was at Maura's front door within minutes, ready to pick her up, while Casey and the friend were waiting at the restaurant. Jane peeked through the window, not noticing the doctor. She rang the doorbell.

"I'll be right there." she heard Maura yell. "Let yourself in."

Jane patted her hips in pursuit of her own key to Maura's place, and sighed with disappointment at the realization that she wasn't wearing her pants. Now there wasn't much for her to do, but to stay up front, waiting, leaned with her hand on the wall. She felt the light wind reach her exposed legs, summoning a slight shiver from her.

"I'll wait in the car, Maura." she yelled, straightening herself up and turning around, and she almost slipped in the process. The adrenaline from the expected fall made her woozy for a second._"Damn fancy fucking high heels"_ were the curses crossing her mind.

* * *

Maura Isles had the habit of spending a lot of time while preparing her daily looks, and that evening was no different. She picked a more casual dark blue dress, since Jane had instructed her they were "only going to a pizzeria". She had perfected her make up as usual, and she had jumbled through her shoe closet for at least half an hour longer to find the ideal pair. The sound of those heels on the path was now echoing through the quiet neighborhood.

She climbed in Jane's car with a sweet "Good evening, Jane", and flashed her unique seductive smile in the driver's direction. She was delighted to see Jane was wearing a dress.

"You look really nice." Maura complimented her.

"You too, as always." One side of the detective's face lifted up as she was unable to stop a smirk. "Listen Maura," she started, leaning back and lifting her hands from the wheel.

"We don't have to talk, Jane. I propose we leave that behind, as I have decided to, and do what is in our power to move past it and enjoy the dinner with Casey and his friends." she said.

_"Regardless of Casey and his friends." _she thought.

"Okay." her friend nodded, seemingly content with avoiding a deep conversation, and started the vehicle.

* * *

"Go back. Go back!" the tall woman tried to rush the other one. The blonde seemed puzzled by this sudden agitation.

"What's the matter?" she inquired. "Did you get the location wrong?"

"Umm... yeah.. no! No, Maura just go back in the car." she rasped, gently pressing her hand on Maura's back in an attempt to move her out of the restaurant entrance, so she doesn't have to see what Jane managed to glance.

"Jane! What..."

"I'll tell you later."

Her irritated tone might have sounded offensive, but it was far better than what could've followed Maura walking in the place and seeing their company.

_"Of all people! Of all people on Earth he had to call Mr. Royal We! I didn't even know they knew each other."_

"Jane?" Maura asked with a restrained urgency, and Jane could feel the protruding hazel eyes on her even though she was looking down. She realized her breathing had quickened, and tried to bring it back to normal. But it didn't pass the doctor's trained eyes.

"Jane I see that there is a problem. Your respiration is out of its regular rhythm, and your eyes were full of anxiety when you turned to face me less than a minute ago. Tell me." It was a request. Sweet and polite bossiness. A Maura trademark.

Very aware of Maura's perseverance, Jane knew that she was going to eventually tell her what was happening. She was only looking for a proper way to put it.

"Maura there's someone there that I didn't know was going to be there... and I know that you don't want to see him, and honestly I don't either, so, let's just go somewhere and have a drink or two and I'll call Casey and tell him something came up, okay?"

"Who is it Jane?"

Jane shook her head, leaning it back, and with eyes fiercely shut closed she tried to speak but only managed a squeal.

"Byron."

Not met with a reaction, she opened one of her eyes, searching for a hint of anger on Maura's face. There was none.

"Byron the surgeon I dated shortly?"

"Yeah..." Jane affirmed through a sigh.

"Jane although we haven't quite engaged in social non-work-related contact lately to the same extent as we used to, I am sure that you haven't forgotten that I am a person perfectly capable of displaying professional conduct around people that I am not fond of. And truthfully, although I am certain I would enjoy having drinks with you even more, I want to let you know that I am also certain that among all the people, Byron's presence will have little to no effect on my mood. I am going to talk to you, and when you'll be talking to someone else then I'm sure some of the other people will be willing to have a chat with me."

Jane closed her eyes shut again, lifting her cheeks up to them and breathing in deeply. She withdrew her lips over clenched jaw and ran her tongue over them. The moment she made the grimace, Jane was aware that it would immediately disclose to Maura that she wasn't being told everything.

"Maura..." she started, still holding the air in her lungs. "There were no other people."

"But you said..."

Jane exhaled loudly and turned to face her friend. She watched as Maura's mouth stood half open as she was processing the information in disbelief. She stared somewhere away in the distance before her eyes flew left and dug deep into Jane's.

"You set me up on a blind date?" her voice was quiet and insecure, seeking confirmation.

"Maura..."

"You set me up on a blind date." It was an exclamation now, still quiet, but sharply accusative.

"Maura it wasn't my idea."

"YOU AND CASEY SET ME UP ON A BLIND DATE?!"

The scream was stamped in Jane's ears and she cursed as it repeated over and over as an echo in her mind.

"How dare you, Jane?" Maura rarely if ever got this upset and fiery. Her words were loud, clear, spoken fast enough to demonstrate rage, but slow enough to be powerful and sting deeper. It was the perfect diction and it made Jane scared like a school girl who just failed a test and was chastised by the teacher. It made Jane feel like a daughter who had just said a bad word to her own mother. It made Jane hurt like the person who had just wronged their best friend, their best friend's pride, their best friend's emotions and their best friend's trust.

Maura furrowed her eyebrows above her intensely glaring and blaming eyes. And even if Jane felt strong enough in front of that stare to interrupt again, she would have had nothing to say.

"I thought you didn't think I was jealous and seeking a relationship! I thought you understood that this wasn't about me finding someone! I thought you knew me well enough to know that I am perfectly capable of finding a partner if and when I wanted to! I thought you saw that I would go to a random gathering with a group of people I don't even know just to spend time with you. I thought you knew that the purpose of this was to see YOU!"

* * *

Her voice started so firm and clear but was now slowly succumbing to the incontrollable shaking she felt in her throat.

"I thought you understood that I chose to tolerate this new behavior that you've assembled lately because I missed you. But you..."

Maura stopped. She always had something to say. Now everything was boiling up and she couldn't chose what had to go first. So she didn't say anything for a few seconds, while neither of them broke eye contact. Jane's lips were trembling and it was obvious to Maura that the woman was struggling to find an excuse. She didn't want to hear it, so she chose to say what she didn't want to admit to herself.

"I guess I can lie after all. I've been lying to myself. I don't miss you! I miss the old you! This is not The Jane I know!" She yelled the last phrase with the final bits of controlled and unbroken voice she could master.

"This is not the Jane I love..."

This time the voice broke. There was a lump blocking Maura's airways. She needed to get out. She had to.

She slammed the door of the car shut as quickly as she had opened it before rushing out. Her pace was quicker than ever. She didn't know where she was headed but she didn't care.

Her ears registered Jane's voice, now also broken, calling her name.

"Maura!"

There was another door slam, and the sound of Jane's heels as she ran after her.

"Maura!"

The doctor swallowed hard, using her facts and the science, knowing that the pressure of the tongue was slowing, if not blocking, the excretion of her tear glands.

"Maura!"

She felt the detective's strong long fingers envelop her upper left arm. Stopping, she cleared her throat and composed herself quickly.

"Jane, if you have any respect for me, any at all, you are going to let go of my arm and allow me to leave." she said without turning.

The grip around her arm loosened.

"Maura!"

_"My name is all she has to say?" _She tugged her arm away from Jane's hand and continued ahead.

"Maura please. Maur, I'm sorry! Maur, I didn't mean to!"

The soft drizzle appeared within seconds, starting to slowly get the blond hair wet, but the tears now flooding out of her eyes already had already taken care of her face.

* * *

Author's note: In an interview, Angie and Sasha spoke of their view on the conflicts in the beginning of R&I Season 3. And while Angie said she hated it, Sasha said that she liked the conflict, that they both got deep into their characters, that the situations were intense and heavy and that she loved the effect. I agree more with her. I know people hate to see their favorite characters go through bad times. But I also know that in the end, crossing that bridge is worth it. So I'm going to do my best to make this sound as realistic as possible, and enjoy writing this to the maximum. Jane and Maura are wonderful characters and it is a waste not exploring their behavior in a greater array of situations.

Thanks a lot for the time you spent reading this. Please review.

I appreciate it.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers: I don't own them and all that... This is an early and slightly longer update as an excuse in advance for having exam work for the next few days thus not being able to update then. A bit of Maura rebound and fun time (hey she deserved it!), and trashing Jane. You know that feeling when you just want to punch the one you love?

* * *

Maura heard an unfamiliar melody emerging from her handbag. It took her a few moments to recall that it was the ringtone from her new cell-phone. She had left the people at work her new number that she was to be reached at when needed, since her old one had been turned off for a while now, after a couple of days of unbearably frequent calls by detective Rizzoli. _"If she was so eager, why didn't she just drop by?"_ In addition, she made it perfectly clear that it wasn't to be shared with anyone in BPD but those who absolutely had to have access to it.

But it wasn't HQ that was calling her now, as she had started her vacation a few days ago, as soon as she could after they closed their last case. Now she wasn't even in town to cancel it for an urgent case where her expertise was irreplaceable.

"Excuse me, I have to take this." she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled at the woman at the table in front of her, gently brushing over her hand as she got up to take the call. What was her name again? Harriett? Hannah? Heather? It was unusual for the doctor to not remember something, but in her defense, she was quite inebriated.

"Hello! This is Maura Isles speaking. How may I help you?" she said with a playful voice utterly different from her usual speaking style.

"Miss Isles, you have requested the room service to make this call at 11pm. The instructions indicate _for personal cover up_."

"Of course, kind sir. Thank you. I can't express how delightfully glad I am." she giggled as she ended the call, laughing at herself even more as she was failing at speaking with a British accent. She didn't even know why she was trying, except for the fact that it seemed like a fun thing to do in the moment.

But she did try to calm down and look serious when she returned to her table.

"I'm very sorry sweetie. Something just came up. I hate to walk out on you like this, but... You have my phone number and I'm still in town for a while so I suggest we meet up again tomorrow?"

Hannah, or Heather, or whatever her name was, was about to politely deny the offer, detecting the obvious rejection she was facing from the beautiful blonde. But Maura left little to chance.

"Maybe directly in my hotel room?" She winked.

The woman smiled approvingly and bit her lip before getting up. Her strikingly silky straight brown hair glowed even in the dimmed light.

"Of course, baby." she said, gently approaching Maura, standing only inches in front of her. She leaned it, as if to kiss her, only to switch directions in the last moment and leave a gentle peck on Maura's cheek. The teasing only left Maura wanting more, and she knew that her date had purposefully done so, and had successfully achieved her desired effect.

As she was getting out of the cab in front of her hotel, Maura felt that her blood was still rushing. She was obviously aroused and in need. But she had planned that cancellation, for she and the guy she met that morning who happened to be staying in the room next to hers were having sex all afternoon. Her body was too sore for more action.

Still, the date had been scheduled from before, and Maura didn't want to waste the opportunity. She also didn't want to send negative signals by ending the evening in a cold or reserved way with Hannah. Or Harriett, whatever. They both knew why they were meeting up and where was it supposed to lead. So Maura expected to enjoy her too, thought in a heated raging session, something that her used body wouldn't allow today.

Shortly thereafter, standing in her hotel room, the doctor decided the night was over for her, and she stretched out on the messy king-sized bed without performing her nightly rituals, without even taking her makeup off, barely managing to get out of her shoes. She fell asleep the moment her head touched the pillow.

* * *

"Jane?"

"Yeah?" She mumbled, still staring at a point in the wall.

Korsak took his glasses off, leaving them on top of the stack of files.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

He snorted loudly, laughing at how obvious Jane's lie was. He got up from his chair slowly, and using the fact that the room was empty, carefully approached his former partner, and asked again.

"Jane?"

She lifted her head to face him. He noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the way her face seemed dried out.

"You're at work after hours. We're not working a case, and _you_ don't even have paperwork. Dr. Isles is on a vacation, I haven't heard you talk to her, and you two seemed way too professional when we were finishing up the last case. Why aren't you going home to your fiancé?"

"He's not my fiancé!" she rasped at him.

"Well if you keep acting like this he might not even be your boyfriend!"

Jane turned away from him and tried to find that spot on the wall again.

"It's none of your business, Korsak."

The sentence was cold. Her tone was distant. Her words were heavy and Korsak had felt their weight immediately.

"Jane, this is not you!"

He didn't see her, but he could sense her eyes rolling.

"And since when are we not speaking?" he continued, irritated.

Jane kept still, not moving a muscle. If he hadn't heard her ragged breathing, he could have thought she was a corpse.

"You need to pull yourself together, Rizzoli." he said, quietly returning to his desk.

* * *

_"Will she make it?" she asked. It was more like a cry, in the midst of tears._

_"We're doing everything we can. The bullet..."_

_"That's a code for no, isn't it?" a desperate Maura was now yelling at the doctor._

_"Miss, I assure you we're doing our best. They told us she is a fighter. If that's true, I __am very faithful__she'll make__ it. Now you must excuse me..."_

_"Doctor!"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Please!" she begged._

_She saw him nod at her before turning back._

"Jane!" She yelled, lifting her head from the pillow.

"Baby, I know you said you wanted to not care and get wild for a while, but my name is Hannah." The brunette lying next to her seemed calm and amused. She shifted her weight on her arm, using the other to softly caress Maura's cheek. "And I know you know it cause you screamed it so many times last night." She leaned in, kissing her. Maura tried to remember doing that, but the pumping in her head and the cold empty bottle next to her hip told her there was too much alcohol last night for her to recall.

"So? Kinky dream? Who was it?" Hannah asked as she pulled back.

"No, not really. Nobody!"

"Come on Maura. I know she's somebody. You know I don't mind." The girl kissed her again, smiling, still seeming entertained. Maura turned towards her and her eyes drifted lower. She couldn't help but see the flat abdomen Hannah was sporting. _"Jane's abs are a bit more... Stop it Maura!"_

"We all have wild rebound sex periods. Was she good?" she said.

"I... uh..." she started, but as it very rarely happened, Maura didn't know what to say.

"It's okay, we don't have to talk about her." she ended the clearly sensitive topic as she got up from the bed. "Anyways, there was some guy who woke me up. He was knocking, looking for you this morning. He said he'll be in the room next door, so you can see him when you wake up."

"Oh my God. Wait! What time is it?"

"About noon." the girl called from the bathroom.

Maura pulled her hands to her head, massaging her temples with her thumbs. She then sat up, tilting and then turning her neck softly. She stretched her arms up, then gently left them on her knees. She vaguely remembered a former time she did the exact same, after unexpectedly waking up with a girl next to her. Only that time it was Jane. And they hadn't had sex. And she wasn't lesbian or bi like herself. And she now has a boyfriend. These recollections flooded Maura's mind too rapidly and she had to get distracted to clear her head.

"We must've been really tired." she said, forcing a laugh.

"Yeah well, after all of that!" Hannah said with a laugh muffled by the towel she was wiping her face with. She left it on the rack and approached Maura again. She had tied her hair up in a ponytail which revealed her face and her big gorgeous greenish eyes. She took Maura's face in her hands and with the most innocent smile, she added:

"Although, if you're rested we could still continue at neighbor boy's."

* * *

"I hurt her!" she yelled as she stuck her fist in the punching dummy. "I hurt her! I hurt her! I hurt her!"

"Jane, sweetheart." he called to her worriedly.

"Leave me alone!" she yelped.

"Jane please listen to me."

She made a few more fast strokes and turned to him angrily.

"To you? Oh yes! absolutely!" She turned her sarcasm mode on. If it was ever really off. "Where are we taking her this time? Swingers club? Whorehouse? Or should we call Dennis back from the afterlife?" Jane was yelling, aggressively moving her long hands about. Her voice was coarse and accusing, and she had her nostrils widened, even further demonstrating she was pissed. Her hair was put up but strands were now escaping the clutch and fleeing astray in all directions.

"Jane you're making this sound like it's my fault!"

He didn't want to raise his voice at her, but he had to if he was to out-shout her. It really wasn't his fault. He was sure of it.

"Yeah well, you suggested it and you called mister surgeon, who, by the way, you _knew_ I can't stand!" she walked up to him.

"But I know they had a thing a couple of years ago..."

"And there's a reason why it ended! Obviously!" Her face was blood red and inches from his. His usual response at that proximity would have been to kiss her. But now she was offending him, very condescendingly so, and although he liked the toughness she possessed, he wasn't going to allow being treated like that.

"Jane, she's _your_ friend. It's _your_ fight. _You_ know her better. _You_ invited her. Don't make me the bad guy here!"

Her eyes were still fixated on his face, but there was a minuscule yet notable change in their expression. Anger? Denial? Realization? Whatever it was, it was wild and ramping.

"Jane you need to calm down."

"Don't you tell me what I need to do, got it?"

He could vaguely tell the vein on her neck was pumping. She stood still, keeping her breath in, staring into his eyes with her own ones full of fury.

"Got it?" she repeated through clenched teeth and turned back to the dummy.

Casey slowly made his way to the bedroom. He felt defeated and wronged, humiliated even, but he didn't want to fight her. Not now. He didn't willingly lie below a knife, risking his lonely future for the tiny chance of one with her, only to mess the miracle up for some probably solvable conflicts.

Frankly, if it was really his doing, he would have admitted. But this wasn't an issue to pass with him accepting full blame. As much as he wished it was that easy, it wasn't going to repair the state of affairs between her and Maura._ "What do you want me to do, Jane?"_ he asked himself as he lied covered under the blankets, enjoying the scent of his loved one that was still tingling there.

* * *

_"This is not you. It's not you. What are you doing, Maura?"_

She was pacing through her room, not too long after Hannah had left.

_"You slept with three people in three days. Two of them were strangers, one of which you met online! What's wrong with you?"_

There was a bottle of wine amongst the other expensive beverages in her fancy hotel room. She glanced at it, but refrained from taking some. Her rational judgment was trying to coup her brain from her recklessness again.

_"No alcohol! You'll make a mess again."_

When she finally managed to sit down it was because her legs started shaking. She felt the cold leather of the chair on her bare thighs, not having bothered to put anything but underwear on. She felt the stuffiness of the air and the oxygen deficiency in the room. She also felt a flimsy numb pain when she absentmindedly touched her shoulder. There was a bruise, or maybe a hickey, but she couldn't tell without getting up and in front of a mirror.

_"You're not in your twenties again, Maura!"_

She rested her forehead on open palms and rubbed her head seeking to get rid of what was left of the headache.

_"So now what?"_ she thought. Completely clueless of anything else, she decided to continue mechanically, step by step. And the first thing she needed was a nice long shower.

* * *

"Jane, it's been an hour." he called from the bedroom.

"So?" She kept pounding. Her knuckles were burning with pain, but it was still nothing compared to the burning in her chest when she thought of Maura.

Which was all the time.

"I can't sleep."

She didn't answer. She heard him move the blankets away, and then softly approach her. She felt his presence behind her. This man, who meant so much to her, still failed to acknowledge when she needed to deal with her problems on her own. This man who she shared a bed with is still powerless in front of her rage. This man who she longed for for eons and for whose life she feared for in countless sleepless nights simply couldn't understand her.

"Jane is there something I can do?" His words were as light and tender as his hand that he brought to her shoulder.

"Yes. Leave me alone!" She pushed his hand away with one of hers.

"Jane!"

"For fuck's sake, Casey! Just leave me the fuck alone!" she yelled.

His hand went up to her shoulder again, but this time she turned enraged. Hers, clenched in the palm, met his unsuspecting eye.

* * *

Author's note: I will quote Jtam here: "You know, there's a teeny tiny piece of me that felt just a little bit bad. Just a little bit bad."  
Hehehe :) This was SO much fun to write! I could feel the sadist part of me emerging from wherever it is hiding the second I put my fingertips on the keyboard.

Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH for the reviews, they really make my day :)


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimers: I don't own them. If I did this would have counted as character cruelty or something.

So, a little more drama here and more focus on dialogue than in the past few chapters. I wasn't planning to write this, at least not today but I couldn't stop myself. Also, I'm still saving the positive parts for next chapters, so bear with me.

* * *

Red stain on the seat in the cab, probably from some kind of a sauce.

It didn't bother her.

Dust at the register where she handed her flight ticket.

It didn't bother her.

Strong smell of cigarettes from the person sitting behind her.

It didn't bother her.

There was nothing Maura Isles found more disgusting than herself.

"Is there anything I can offer you, miss?"

There was a hostess with the fakest of smiles and the straightest and brightest of teeth next to her.

"Just some water would be lovely. Thank you." She smiled gently and turned her head back to the book she bought at the airport to use as a distraction. And yet, she didn't remember what her eyes skimmed over for the past few pages.

"Are you sure madam? This plane has wines from some of the finest collections. I could offer you..."

"No alcohol, please."

"Okay, madam. No alcohol for now."

_"No alcohol at all!" _Maura thought. She considered it behind her, the time when she didn't care about herself, her body or her reputation, the very short phase of rebellion of the ever-composed daughter to the lack of affection from her parents. But her logical mind showed her both of these mistakes, the one from years and the ones from hours ago were connected.

They were both reckless promiscuous reactions to unrequited love.

The moment the realization hit her mind was followed by the one when Maura made a promise to her body and mind, her heart and soul, pride and dignity and all that she thought of herself. She knew that if she ever came even nearly to considering breaking it, she should just recall this past week and any hesitations would be gone.

* * *

"Get yourself over here and kiss me, or I'm pressing charges." he teased her. Why wasn't he mad? Why wasn't he screaming at her? Why wasn't he leaving her? Why was he still there? Why didn't he hate her?

"Casey it's not the time to joke about this. I hit you. In the face!" She said, handing him a new bag of ice.

"And you apologized for it so many times already and I will find a way in which you will make it up to me. I'm not letting you off the hook, no. Just let me relax." he said as he pressed the bag to his eye. Jane could see him wince at the contact. She felt helpless.

"I think we should talk about this." she blurted out, folding her arms and looking in the ground.

"Seriously, Jane?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You must be really into me if you are actively putting yourself up for a big talk." He laughed at his own comment, but stopped immediately and cringed in pain even more. "I know you and I know you hate discussing. Or opening up. Or any of that emotional stuff. To be honest," He chuckled lightly and paused, seeming to be cautiously considering his next words, "it may be a good thing you hit me. I was beginning to think you've lost it."

His tone was still playful, but Jane's expression only got more serious.

"What, you too?"

"And who else?"

"Ooh, _Jane you've changed_. Then _Jane this is not you. Jane you've lost it_!"

She mimicked the expressions, overly exaggerating their harshness.

"Well have you ever thought about it?" he inquired, now fully solemn. He was still looking at her, with concerned serene eyes. Or maybe concerned eye, considering the other was covered.

"No! Of course not!" she yelled, lifting her arms up, confused.

"Well maybe you should." he said calmly, turning away, and he changed the channel on the TV.

Jane let her hands drop loudly on her thighs. She stood stunned looking at him, with mouth and eyes wide open, turning left and right, as a little girl lost in the crowd, looking for her mother. And then in a few swift steps she reached the jacket from the chair where she had thrown it before and marched to the door.

"Jane don't." He yelled after her when he heard the clinking of keys in her pocket.

But before he could get up she was already out.

* * *

_She curled up in the corner of the room. She didn't know the place and it scared her. She looked around wondering if she was alone._

_"I just want to know Maura, were you trying to prove it to me or yourself?"_

_It was the familiar deep voice, powerful, destroying all in its way. And as the sound echoed, magnified, she realized she was actually in a hall._

_"I wasn't trying to prove anything!"_

_"You are disgusting, Maura!"_

_"I wanted to get away from you!"_

_"You are disgusting, Maura!"_

_"I wanted to forget!"_

_"You are disgusting, Maura!"_

_Their screams were filling the space, and like a choir singing a lamenting melody over somebody's grave, filled the atmosphere with darkness. A black smoke covering all around them. Maura pressed her back to the wall and it crashed, its pieces disappearing. She fell back. The dark haired woman was now rapidly approaching her. Maura pulled her knees to her chest, tightened the grip of her arms around them. The face was getting closer and closer. She couldn't see the woman walking anymore. It was just an indefinite entity floating in front of her. Its dark eyes darted open, and it clenched its jaw, shouting even through gritted teeth:_

_"I HATE YOU MAURA!"_

_But now it wasn't Jane's voice. It was her own._

* * *

"Oh my God, honey, are you okay?" a sleepy Angela wearing pink pajamas almost cried when she opened the door in the middle of the night to a red-eyed Jane, with bandaged knuckles and face smeared with tears.

"Can I sleep over?"

"Of course. Come in. Come on! Are you hurt? What happened?"

"You tell me!" she said quietly, with a pain in her throat as she threw herself on the couch.

Her mother closed the door and joined her daughter, trying to envelop her in her caring arms. Expecting to be chased away, she was both delighted and worried to see Jane not complaining about being hugged.

"Is it Maura?"

Jane just kept sobbing.

"Is it Casey?"

Not a word.

"Well what was it then?" she insisted. She knew her daughter well enough to note that she just needed a bit more stimulation to pour everything that was on her mind out. It also scared her that it came to such a situation. But it was the first step full of pain on the road of getting rid of it.

"I think it's me, Ma!" she admitted, lowering her head on Angela's shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, sweetie." she said as she rubbed her back, trying to calm her. "Just tell me what's going on."

"I don't know..." she mumbled, lifting herself up, wiping her eyes. Angela reached for her hands, but Jane pulled them back in a flash.

"Is it true, Ma?" she said with her husky ragged voice. She seemed to fight the urge to look aside as she focused on her mother's eyes with a plea, begging for some sort of a rescue or salvation from what she probably knew the answer was. The sight stabbed Angela's heart hard and deep.

"Is what true?"

"That I'm not who I was."

Angela exhaled, closing her eyes and trying to choose her words wisely, but she only managed what she knew Jane would benefit from the most - the plain untwisted truth.

"Yes, but time passes, Jane. We all change. You know that."

"But I didn't want to! I didn't mean to! I hate it! Everybody hates it!"

"You can't possibly think that's true, now!"

"I do."

"Well how so? Did Casey say something?"

"He kind of implied it but..." she shook her head, resting her arm on the back of the couch, and supporting her head with her palm.

"Well that's not so fatal and scary as you make it sound!"

It seemed to have turned into a habit for Jane, not answering. Now she had straightened up and just stared at her hands. It was the same ones she never allowed touched. Well except for Maura. The arms that put cuffs and got cuffed. The same hands that caused and received so much pain.

She focused on the left one. It was the hand that tried to stop her hurt friend from leaving a few nights ago. It was the hand that made her boyfriend's eye swell. It was the hand she was now bringing to her face again, as a new tide started leaking from her eyes.

"Maura told me, Ma. She said she had to put up with some new behavior I have assembled."

"Maura's not everybody." Angela tried to convince Jane, not wanting to even regard the idea of how wrong she was.

"But she's my best friend!" she cried. "She _was_ my best friend."

* * *

Jane awoke to the knocking on the door. Her mother had insisted she takes the bed, but Jane had stubbornly remained on the couch. She was rubbing her eyes when she heard it. The voice she feared though longed for. The calm melodic sound that still managed to bring goose bumps all over her body.

"Good afternoon, miss Rizzoli."

"Since when are you calling me by my last name?" her mother sounded offended.

"I'm sorry miss..."

"Angela!" she interrupted.

"Yes. Angela. I came for Bass. Thank you so much for taking care of him."

"Of course. Come in. We had so much fun. I fed him strawberries." the sound of her voice grew nearer and Jane knew she was approaching. She opened her eyes, praying to deities she didn't believe in to help her summon the courage and face Maura.

"I can't stay, really. I just arrived, and I haven't slept well. I'm just going to take him and go."

"Aw sweetie. Let me make you some lunch." Jane's mother called from the other room. "You shouldn't be wandering through the kitchen if you need to rest."

"No, I believe you've been kind enough already. Besides, I had lunch on the plane, so no arrangements will be necessary. Thank you for the offer." Maura said, raising her voice so she could be heard.

_"Come on, Rizzoli. You need to get up. You need to make amends. You need to get her to talk to you."_

Angela was now back at the door, and with a voice she tried to hush but wasn't missed by Jane, she told Maura:

"Just because you and Jane aren't speaking doesn't mean we can't. I've told you this already. You're like my daughter too."

"At least leave the tortoise here and go rest!" Angela added when Maura didn't respond.

_"You need her Rizzoli."_

"Okay. Thank you miss..." her mother must have frowned, for Maura paused before politely correcting herself. "I'm sorry. Thank you Angela. Bye."

Hearing Maura about to leave made Jane's heart double its rate and Jane's lungs gasp for breath she must have been holding for long. The moment she heard the door close it felt like it would never open again. She jumped off the couch frenzied.

"Maura!" she yelled. Her legs trembled. She should run after her. And say what?

_"Dammit!" _

She turned to her mother.

"You knew she was leaving and you didn't tell me!" she aggressively accused her mother, not stopping for a moment to think about the harshness of her voice.

"I didn't know for sure."

"She was leaving her turtle for you to take care of."

"Maura says it's a tortoise Jane." Angela stepped up to her daughter. "And I thought you would have already known!"

The response was far more powerful than it sounded.

_"But she didn't tell me she was leaving. I was probably _why_ she was leaving."_

Jane bit her lip inhaling deeply. With eyes shut and not allowing for the moment to pass, she ran her hands through her hair and pulled all bits of strength she had from every cell in her body.

She ran out the door.

"Maura!"

Her best friend stopped at her own door and turned to face her.

* * *

Author's note: Nothing I can add except for the fact that I'm pouring feelings out of me and that's why this might seem rushed. Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming. They are my gas pedal, really :)


	6. Chapter 6

"Jane." the doctor acknowledged her calmly.

"You're back."

"The photons that had just been reflected from me your retinas must have absorbed do indicate to you that I am present."

Jane got thrown back by the condescendingly offensive Maura version of "No shit!"

"I was sleeping over at Ma's. I mean your guesthouse."

"I noted that already." the doctor nodded, and kept looking at her questioningly, as if waiting for some point that was to be made.

"Oh, you, you did?"

"She hushed her voice when she mentioned your name, implying that she wouldn't want to be overheard. Also, your car is up front."

"Right!" She started panicking slightly, fearing the moment was going to pass and she were to lose the chance to talk. "Um, I just... I wanted to talk to you."

The blonde took a breath and turned as if she was ready with a reply, yet stopped midway and tiredly tilted her head to the side.

"I _just_ arrived, Jane. I would really appreciate it if you didn't insist."

And Jane wanted to let her rest, satisfy what she asked for. But she couldn't miss such a now rare opportunity. They were talking outside of work and Maura was there, only meters away. Jane lifted her hand to her neck, nervously massaging it, and slowly and cautiously started walking towards her friend.

"Maura. I _know_ that I've been a jerk to you, okay? And um.. I... I know I did things that now seem so damn horrible and I want to punch _myself_ in the eye for that, but.. you were, you _are_ my friend. I don't wanna lose that."

She was even closer, and they were mere feet apart.

"Please tell me I haven't lost it already." she said quietly. In the moments of silence that followed she replayed her last statement in her mind. Did it sound like an order? A request? Begging? A Plea?

"Maura, I'll make it up to you. I can put more time aside. We'll go to your yoga classes or fancy dress up dinners or we can just sit back and watch a documentary about the turtles or tortoises and the native tribes of wherever. I just..." she stopped again, looking down, realizing she wasn't wearing any shoes. She noted the bandages on her hands. The events of last night in flashy colors flew back to the front of her brain. "I just want to be around you again."

"Jane I don't need you to cater to my impossible and unbearable entertainment requests. I don't need you to do me favors."

Maura was hyperbolizing, somehow managing to display discomfort and dissatisfaction through the most peaceful voice.

"It's not me doing you favors! It's the other way around."

Maura raised her eyebrows with resentment and disbelief.

"I'm going to get inside now. Bye Jane." She turned to do as she said.

Jane was convinced Maura thought she was being smooth-talked. It hurt her to know that her friend would think so when Jane was only trying to tell the truth.

"Maura, please. I'm begging you! I have to say this!"

The woman stopped and folded her arms facing the door. But she didn't enter. It was good enough for the defeated detective, standing outside in her top and sweatpants, desperately trying to spill all that was raging within. She got her chance. Once she was to start, there was no dam that could stop that flood.

"You! You bring me back to reality, Maura. I'm not just the tough chick who made it to Boston homicide, or the tall one with the badge that the whole bullpen can feel PMSing." she smirked, knowing how ridiculously true that was. "But when you are around I'm also not as weak as the person who couldn't get the nerve to see her friend and apologize after hurting her.  
I... I think for myself, but of others. When you're gone, others think for me, and all I think of is myself.  
I can't prioritize, but you make me see what's important. With you I know what I want and who I am, I know what I care for and what matters to me.  
And every day that passes when I don't get to see you seems like a day forever lost, that someone stole from me. I bury myself up in work or distractions, I watch TV and I go on dates, I run and jog and workout and box!" She half laughed half cringed recalling Casey's swollen eye. "So I end the day curled up in bed, feeling alone, unable to sleep. I haven't slept well for... I don't know. Days. Weeks. Maybe even longer. But until recently I couldn't for the life of me tell what was missing.  
It's no longer nightmares of Hoyt with his scalpel to my throat that are creeping up to me. When I see him, he has the scalpel to _your_ throat. And I wake up in sweat wondering where you are and if you are safe.  
So I can only sleep calmly when you... when _you_ are next to me. _Because_ you are next to me. And, and, and I know you are safe. But more importantly because I feel _I_ am safe. It doesn't matter if you can't shoot a gun Maura. Look! I can, but has it helped?  
I go crazy Maura. I... I wish you or Korsak or someone just told me sooner!"

She paused, gathering her words, repeatedly clearing her throat as if there was anything in the world that could have made it less hoarse. She felt herself beginning to lose it, and knowing she wasn't going to remain possessed for long, simply kept going.

"You know, last night I tried to make a list of things that might have changed, things I do different, ways in which everyone says I now behave. I couldn't do it. I fell asleep before I could finish it."

That was it. Breakdown point.

"And these past few days have just been hell, Maura!"

Her voice cracked and her left eye was the first to give up and let a tear stroll down her cheek. She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes in pain.

"I say stupid things. I do stupid things. I hurt people, all the more often since I started first with you. I cannot believe myself for even thinking of such a moronic, such a _stupid_ thing, bringing you out on a blind date and not even telling you. But I just got scared Maur. Scared because I thought you wouldn't answer the phone and I panicked when you did and instead of just talking to you like we always do... like we always used to... I just, I don't know I just went with something in the back of my head that was completely irrational and... And it's my fault for not seeing or listening to you or to what I was saying." She brought both her hands to her eyes, only smearing the liquid over her cheeks. "But I just really wanted you to come and I really wanted you to know I didn't mean what I said to you."

In a vain and pointless attempt to harrumph she only coughed and burst in a more incomprehensible cry.

"I'm so... so very sorry Maura!"

She was yelling by now. The entire neighborhood could've been watching but none of it held any importance in such moment.

"I know it was me that pushed you away and canceled our plans and acted as if I didn't care. I think I can now see how it happened and why, but... something that comes along with that understanding of mine is the realization that I need to walk miles before I get to deserve all that you've done for me even before this entire change of eras. But I want it back and I'm not gonna just let it slide from my hands, Maur, I won't!"

Jane tilted her head back, facing away from the woman who had her backside turned towards her and glanced to the yet again cloudy sky above. She tried to even her ragged breathing out but only managed to further throw it out of balance.

"Tell me it hasn't slid already Maura!" She was now shaking, looking at her friend, hoping that's a title she could still associate with her. There was not a chance in the world she was going to make Maura's facial expression out, but she noted her head was lowered and she had unfolded her arms that were now loose and slightly trembling near her hips.

"Please! I'll do anything!" she said as she reached for one of them. Maura flinched at the touch, still maintaining her stance.

"Just say it and I'll do it."

Maura lifter her other hand close to her own face and trailed few swift movements along what seemed to be the top of her cheek.

_"Is she crying?"_ Jane thought. Maura responding to her was something she anxiously dreaded for, but not if it were with tears. She hated to be the cause of more of them, and regardless of what number were already shed, they were too many. There were always to many of Maura's tears.

"Anything?" she questioned.

Jane was thrilled to get a word out of her. She nearly jumped hearing it.

"Anything, Maura!" she answered confidently. Her husky voice presented the firmness and determination Jane knew she had in her, but had obviously buried somewhere deep and dark lately. There was no mountain, ocean or desert on Earth she wouldn't climb, cross or walk for Maura Isles.

She tightened her grasp around her best friend's hand, to never let her leave, to never allow being without her, to never stop fighting for her, and she said it again. Strongly. Unfalteringly. Unwaveringly.

"Anything!"


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own them... *sob sob sob* I don't ooooown theeeeem! *smears tears away*

* * *

"You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can. What is it? Tell me."

"I wasn't speaking to you, Jane."

"What do you mean?"

Maura herself failed to define what exactly was that she meant and what she stopped herself from uttering. What was the appropriate reaction to this sudden epiphany that Jane was claiming to have?

Turn around for a hug and take her back like a old and long lost friend? It would have made Maura vulnerable, with heart and soul open as wide as her welcoming arms. All she knew about herself told Maura that she wouldn't have been able to stand another stab in her lonely heart. It was still unrecovered and uncertain of itself.

That's when she decided she couldn't expose it. Not yet.

What else could she have done? Asked Jane to leave Casey? Yes, of course, that was a wonderful idea, but she couldn't take away what her loved one has vividly shown she wants. Maura had tried to part her from him in the most innocent ways she could contrive. She had told Jane he doesn't deserve her. She had told Jane her mind was lost and worried every time he dropped back into her daily life. She had tried to be with her when he turned her back, cheering her up when he made her frown, wiping the tears she shed for him, standing by her side when he was in surgery and Jane could think of nothing else. She was there all along, yet all went unnoticed.

And she never succeeded to deem it appropriate for herself to voice it loud and clear, in simple English as her friend always preferred. _"You shouldn't be with Casey. You shouldn't lose who you are over him. You should stay with me as I promise to eternally stay with you."_

A memory from years ago spawned in front of Maura's closed eyes. Her friend was looking at her with sincere eyes, holding her hands and speaking softly: _There's not an evil bone in your body_.

But Maura knew it to be false when her mind was filled a different idea. _"Make a choice Jane!"_ She wanted to yell, but couldn't verbalize it.

The doctor might have tried all means she had, even those she never would've rationally allowed herself to use, to forget and distance herself from Jane in the past couple of days. However, she knew that when she came back to Boston, there was still seeing Jane. Or at least just Detective Rizzoli. Whichever manner or situation, just her kneeling at a crime scene, or her hands nervously tangled in her curls when she was thinking, even her lips curving up for whatever trivial reason, Maura knew there was a little something of Jane around.

It was easier to visualize a fourth dimension, splitting of timelines or quantum states than it was to even think of the case where Jane would hear such a selfish request and leave her altogether.

Maura's logical mind rationalized that a complete distance from Jane could have aided her recovery process, but her heart, aching for the past when she still hoped she had romantic chances with her best friend wouldn't allow her to hurt Jane or chase her away forever.

Purely unbearable.

And that's when and why she told herself she couldn't do that.

"You can't possibly have even the most remote idea of how these things that have taken place have affected me, Jane."

"Maura I know I hurt you..." Jane started, but got hastily interrupted.

"No, let me speak. It is my turn after all." the blonde called, still fixated at her front door, resolved to let Jane have her "talk".

A soft "okay" was mumbled behind her.

"The fact that you said those things was a miniscule issue compared to what those expressions of yours have brought me to think of myself. I, Maura Isles, the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, sweated up like a teenager at prom to see the best friend that distanced herself bit by bit in every passing day. The best friend forgetting about me. And to realize that in the past few days this has evoked such comportment on my side that I cursed after and am most ashamed of! You, Jane Rizzoli, you brought me down, and keep on doing so, stomping me to my lowest, having me confess this... this hatred for my actions and existence. This confusion and disbelief. You come here telling me I mean so much to you. You present regrets. You express sorrow. But all I can conclude you say, assuming your statements were solid facts of course, is that I somehow bring out the better in you.

But your otherwise meticulous eyes neglect the idea that the latest of your actions have brought out the worst in me. I am too aware of my own contributions to throw on full blame on your back, but it is obvious that you were the key to me going bad again.

And now you ask for me to turn around and agree to succumb once more to the comfort of the remnants of our friendship, but you cannot guarantee that you will not let affairs return to this state again.

And a simple _anything_ doesn't bear its past weight, Jane. The unconditional trust flails away, and grows back only with evidence, not with plain statements."

"And that's why I'm offering to do whatever is needed." Jane pled.

"What do you expect, that you perform a task or say the right things and everything returns to the condition it was formerly in? You can't expect that!"

"Maura, I just want another chance."

"You can't expect such yielding of me only on the basis of my love for you."

"Yes I can! You're my best friend. And I love you too."

The doctor laughed evilly, or at least as close to evilly as the gentle Maura Isles could possibly get. Sneering at the situation, but more at herself, with a calm voice that fully masked the rampant storm of feelings inside, she said.

"No you don't. Not in the same way."

And with this, she walked back into her house, locking the door behind, throwing shoes away and scuttling through until she reached the bedroom.

"Maura, wait! Maur!" she heard Jane's desperate cries from outside. "What's that supposed to mean?"

She just laid on the bed, on the coverings, still in her outfit, with limbs spread and eyes wide open.

"It means I've fallen for you." she whispered, readily expecting the time when the pain ridden nightmares attacked her subconsciousness again.

* * *

Author's note: this is a result of the surfacing of a lot of things that I had bottled up. I do hope it's not too much emotional pour-outs. To me at least it didn't seem so.

Also, I noted I had missed the Bass factor when I was writing the chapter on Jane, so I just added a sentence or two to ch5 where Maura decides to leave it with Angela for a while longer. In my defense, I knew I was forgetting something, but there was so much other seemingly more important stuff on my mind that I tried to jot down and not forget!

Thanks for the reviews. It keeps me going, shows the reactions I evoke and it shines different lights on the text which I find incredibly useful for continuation.

Still waiting for more reviews.

I love you guys :)


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimers in previous chapters. Short update. I was really hesitant on how to form this.

* * *

"You were right. We do need to talk." he said, letting his fork fall loudly on his semi-empty plate. He couldn't jail his thoughts in his head any longer.

"Okay." she said with her mouth full, nodding her head.

"You can't walk out on me like that, Jane. I understand that you had a fight. I understand that it's been hard for you, being away from her. I even chose to move over the fact that you fucking _punched me_ when all I was trying was to be helpful! But you stormed out and left the apartment at such late hours and let me worry sick. Sure, you're tough and you can take care of yourself, but Jane, I care about you! And you can't ignore that!" He waited for a reaction, but since Jane was still staring at her plate, he continued. "Where did you go anyways?"

"I went at Ma's, Casey." She said, looking up at him and rolling her eyes.

"Don't lie to me Jane." he insisted. He was still not yelling furiously, but that was only worsening his emotional state, building up a tension that he knew would eventually be uncontainable.

"I'm not lying! Go ask her."

"As a matter of fact I already did. But that was this morning!"

"Well if you called sooner you would've found out sooner."

The answer was too belittling and Casey wouldn't have it.

"Don't play me Jane, alright? I went after you last night, I was worried, I couldn't reach you on the phone, but I lost you at a crossroad, and couldn't figure where you were headed. I went to that guesthouse and your car wasn't parked there."

Were his words too accusatory?

And if they were, should he have cared to tone them down?

"Maybe you just got there before me."

"And maybe you are lying to me!"

"Why would I do that?" she almost croaked.

"I don't know, why would you?"

The only answer she offered was the stunned expression on her face and the licking of her lips. Jane had the habit of doing that for two reasons: tenseness or arousal. Casey was sure which prevailed at the moment.

"I need some air!" She said, getting up in a rush, not sounding as if she was addressing him, but more as if she was deliberating the issue with an inner voice.

"You're serious?" he stood up from his chair too, vividly upset, not believing that she was behaving so immaturely and he couldn't reason with her on the issue. "STOP. RUNNING. Or is there no perfectly useful oxygen right here?"

More than surprised by his own use of sarcasm, Casey decided he must have gotten it from her.

"No, it's suffocating me!" she confessed before she attempted to take off yet again.

"You know what Jane? It's obvious it's not the air that's suffocating you. Maybe I should be the one leaving right now."

He desperately sought a sign on Jane's face that what he said hurt her and she wanted to stop him.

"Casey, no! That's not what I meant."

Just words. No sign.

"Allow me to let you breathe." he said, sounding somewhat more dramatically than he initially intended.

"No. Stop." In a few swift steps Jane closed the distance between them. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course, Jane!"

"Then stay. Please."

He was still searching her troubled face for a genuine indication of love. He found guilt. And regardless of how tolerant he had previously been, there was an agonizing feeling of failure, preventing him from considering that sufficient.

"You need to promise me you won't storm off again. Can you do that?"

Jane looked at him, contemplating. She nodded tenderly, answering in a tone equally as affectionate.

"I promise."

He let his arms encase her, sinking in the comfort their closeness offered. He felt the scent of her shampoo and the tickling of her hair on his face, and couldn't stop himself from entangling his hands in it.

He held Jane tightly and possessively, wishing she never got an inch further from him. It was the one thing in his life he couldn't bear losing.

* * *

_"You don't love me Jane."_

_"Yes I do!"_

_"Prove it!"_

_A sudden wind went through her hair, bringing wild locks in front of her eyes._

_"Maura I..."_

_She was unable to take her eyes off the hazel ones in front of her, as her friend lifted her soft hands up to Jane's face, gently moving the dark hair, clearing Jane's vision. She tucked the strands behind Jane's ear, ever so gently, making the woman shiver when she felt the fingers graze her ear. It didn't stop there. Maura's hands were now on her cheeks, then sliding lower on the neck, inducing a guilty sweet reaction from her skin receptor cells. And when it appeared she had finished her soft assault, Maura only used the hands how cupping Jane's neck to gently pull her closer._

_All of Jane's worries had suddenly washed of, and there was nothing more important than that moment of pure emotion and clarity. It felt as if her entire living and being was carved and molded, sent through a spectrum of life paths, only to bring her to this final destination. So natural, so spontaneous, so right._

_The space between them shrank. They were centimeters apart. Now millimeters. Jane could feel Maura's warm breath on her lips._

"Maura!" she gasped, opening her eyes to her own bedroom, in her own bed, next to someone who wasn't Maura, and it made her inexplicably sadder than ever before.

* * *

"Hey! Where are you headed so early?" Frost almost bumped into her as she was headed for the elevator. The coffee cup in his hand shook, but none of the insides were spilled. After taking a few seconds to access and detect damage, Frost was delighted to conclude his shirt was still stainless.

"I'm just... off. For now."

"Only Monday and you already took a, what, half day off? The hell?" He laughed. He didn't expect his mocking presumptions to be affirmed, but he expected the actual answer even less.

"More like a few days." she waved with her hand as if to brush it off.

"Really, Jane?"

She rolled her eyes anticipating another pep-talk. And to her immense disappointment, her expectations had been nearly fulfilled.

"You two seriously gotta stop this. Come on! She takes a vacation. You take a vacation. You call her _Doctor._ She calls you _Detective_. Enough!"

"Listen Frost..." Jane was pondering ways to end the conversation, but got interrupted.

"Don't tell me it's none of my business. _I_ will not back off."

No matter how positive and supportive he sounded, the accent Frost had put on his "I" instantaneously informed Jane that Korsak had told him about her plainly bitchy behavior the other day. Her mind wrote a note to itself that she was to make an apology to her ex-partner.

"It's not that simple." She complained. Frost smirked, taking a gulp of the coffee. He then raised his head to face Jane nicely and strike her with an intense look in his eyes.

"It's the _simplest_ of things Jane. Just go be whatever you were again."

He circled around her to make his way to his desk.

"There are things you don't know, Frost." she called to him, indifferent to the rest of the people around listening.

"Oh I'm pretty sure there aren't." he said smilingly as he turned. "Maybe _you_ just haven't figured them out yet."

And there he left Jane considering his last words, stupefied.

She entered the elevator and stared at the buttons. Morgue. First floor. Morgue. First floor. Morgue. First floor.

All of a sudden, she heard the last thing she figured her mind would bring back at this moment: Casey's words.

_"STOP. RUNNING."_

_"Dammit!" _She thought as she went underground.

* * *

Author's note: Sadly, I've noted that the story is visited less than before, and am now unsure of whether my style has worsened and gone more shallow, or it is simply the chain of events that throws people off.

I love my plot and what I have stored for later, and I will not alter it (at least not dramatically) but if you think my writing doesn't live up to that of the first few chapters, please tell me so. I might have lost myself in the story and forgotten about the quality.

So, if there's something that displeases you, is it in content or style?

Please review.

Thanks


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimers in previous chapters.

Author's note: You guys have been so nice to me with your reviews in the past few days. I cannot possibly tell you how happy I am. I got several very constructive commentaries that I took into consideration while writing now, and I hope they have effect. Thank you SO MUCH. I appreciate it. Here you go:

* * *

She was looking down at her laptop screen, but her peripheral vision did suggest a tall figure was standing at the door. Maura lifted her head up to see a smiling Jane at the entrance to her office.

"Hey!" Jane voiced a greeting, seeing Maura notice her.

"Hello, Jane." she returned the smile. And while Jane's was modest, with a pinch of embarrassment, Maura's was sad and longing. She hoped the other woman wouldn't notice the range of emotions behind it.

"Oh, what do we have here? Did Dr. Maura Isles leave work behind when she went on vacation?" Jane teased, and it gave immediate notice to the doctor that she was doing her best to avoid any potential awkwardness.

"Of course not. I was reading an article on the Internet about this..."

Maura stopped herself.

"Never mind, I doubt you would be interested." she said, shaking her head, making the detective drop her jaw in surprise and start her haphazard sentences.

"Maura, you don't need... um, I mean, you can tell me, I... I wanna know!"

She put her hands above her hips, displaying determination.

However, the doctor knew that she needed no words to show Jane she appreciated the gesture but doubted the sincerity behind it. The gentle tilt of her head and the raising of her eyebrows, along with the modest smile, were transferring the message ideally.

* * *

Jane knew what she had come downstairs to do. Yet she had no time to come up with a conversation path that would have taken them to the topic of potentially spending some time together. Jane wondered how she got this awkward and scared in front of her best friend in such a short time.

Was it the things Maura implied?

Or was it the dream that had left Jane breathless and broken?

Whichever case, she wanted to end the uncomfortable tension that had spawned and was tingling through the air between them.

And therefore, Jane decided that at the present moment there was nothing more curative than a regular evening spent relaxing with Maura. Just like old times.

"You wanna tell me about it through drinks at the Robber tonight?" she blurted out before she could freak out or become too hesitant to proceed.

Like a thunder cutting through the stormy sky, she could see the rejection approaching before she could hear it.

"No."

Short. Calm. Resolved. Piercing. Painful.

"A bottle of beer and a glass of wine. For old times' sake, Maura." she kept pushing her.

"No."

Concise. Final. Unbendable. Demeaning. Excruciating.

Jane saw no point or gain from playing it haughty. No pleas or request would ever seem more desperate than those she had unstoppably poured out the day before. And frankly, she realized it was of negligible importance how pathetic she could have looked begging to hang out.

"I just want my friend back, Maura." she said with the most earnest tone and most beseeching glare.

"Jane, I only refuse because I have decided not to consume alcoholic beverages for a while."

It was an unexpected explanation, and Jane couldn't read into it. As much as she wouldn't like to believe that her friend was playing or mocking her, Maura giving up on alcohol was too unbelievable to be a legit cause.

"So what... apple juice?" she said, folding her arms in a gesture of self-defense, unable to mask the impatient disbelief in her rough voice. Was Maura honest about it being the "only" reason?

"I would suggest a _movie night_, if that's okay with you."

_"What?" _This was happening.

Step one on the path of recovery: Maura didn't abhor the thought of seeing her. An evident grin took up a colossal portion of Jane's face, and she was sure the doctor had noticed it. As a matter of fact, she was smiling too. As Jane took a deep breath, warm sensations developed in her lungs, spreading through her entire chest.

Pleasant. Soothing. Promising.

"My place or yours?", she almost yelled, ecstatic and shocked to be met with a plan and not pure rejection.

* * *

"Mine." _"Where I don't imagine you cuddling up to him wherever I look." _ Should I expect you around 9?"

"Perfect." she was almost hopping as she went away.

_"Yes, your smile is indeed perfect." _Maura smiled privately, but reprimanded herself immediately after this thought flashed in her mind. She recalled that she was supposed to get over her friend. She recalled that Jane's excitement was due to pure platonic feelings. She recalled that the only way she could go back to feeling safe, relaxed and appreciated, and comfortable around people instead of socially awkward, was if she thought of Jane only as a friend again.

Weird word though, "again". Maura had tried remembering the last time she didn't see the detective as romantic interest, and came to the conclusion that that had been never. She had only failed to comprehend the true nature of her feelings and admit them to herself.

Right now, the silhouette of Jane's amazingly built body at her doorstep was still flickering in her mind. Maura sighed silently, and, deciding she needed a distraction, devoted her attention to the article on screen again.

* * *

"So, you're gonna tell me what that thing yesterday was about, or will I have to pull it out of you like you know I can!" Angela approached her daughter's table with a plate of bunny-shaped pancakes, a hushed threat, and an infinite supply of patience and motherly comfort.

"Not gonna talk about it, Ma! And what the hell, it's not breakfast time!"

"Bunny pancakes calm you down!"

"No they don't. They make me wanna pull my hair out in the most painful way known to human kind." she groaned, frowning at the plate set in front of her.

Her mother grunted disapprovingly, but was still happy to note the change in Jane's tone. She seemed a lot less grumpy, and the mother presumed something had started going well. Finally.

"So, you're either gonna talk to me or I'm gonna hug you and not let go until you speak!"

"Stop it Ma, I _really_ don't feel like this. Ever. And I'm at work!" she complained. "And you're at work." she added, suddenly remembering.

"No, you stop. Stop pushing away the people you _love_."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were mean to Vince... you don't wanna confide in your own mother..." her voice was still low, but accusatory enough to put Jane at discomfort.

"Oh you go by first name now?" Jane interrupted her, showing her disgust with an over-exaggerated grimace.

"... and don't even get me started on Maura!"

"Mom, I don't push everyone I love." she said, lowering her voice again, shaking her head to express displeasure at having to proceed with the conversation. "I'm sorry, but I had a few bad days and I'll fix things. Just let me eat my... ugh," she scrunched her nose up "bunny pancakes. Alone."

"Yes you do!" the mother persisted.

She knew that her last exclamation was what pushed Jane out of the compliant mood where she simply wanted to bring an end to the talk, and instead threw her into one where she was willing to argue.

"No I don't, Ma!"

"Give me one example!"

Jane opened her mouth, ready to answer, and her eyes darted around the cafe as she was trying to think of a response. Angela noted how long it took her daughter to come up with it, aware of why she was genuinely unable to instantly bring it to her mind.

"Casey!" she said, triumphantly pointing her finger at Angela.

Her mother threw Jane a smile full of love and understanding, and yet also disappointment, for her daughter was still lost.

"I said people you _love_, Jane."

Angela took the empty coffee cup from the table and went back at the counter, leaving Jane, once again, on her own, open-mouthed and speechless, processing what was said.

* * *

Author's note: You know the description says that I will eventually move on to M rated fic, and since that will be in some time not _too_ soon, but soon enough for me to start practicing now, please review or PM if you're willing to teach me a thing or two about writing it. I have little to no experience with it. Thanks.

Also, please keep reviewing. I have a special alert on my phone for it now and I light up every time I hear the sound!:)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimers in previous chapters.

Now, I know I took longer to update, but that's why I'm going to shoot two tonight (yes, it's late over here). Happy reading :)

* * *

"Apple juice, some really crappy non-alcoholic beer, microwave popcorn, chips, chocolate... Take your pick!" she said it all in one breath the second Maura opened the door for her.

"Impressive. You thought of everything." she said, entertained, as she moved out of the way for Jane to enter.

"I see you gave up on your daily outfit." Jane said as she passed by.

"I have realized that sweatpants are often a more comfortable option. They are also less straining for the body and allow it to relax to a greater extent. Isn't that why you are wearing some right now?"

"If you say so. By the way, they don't have non-alcoholic wine. They call it grape juice!" she called from the kitchen where she went to leave the shopping bags.

Maura chuckled at the comment as she settled on the couch. "What are we watching?"

"Um... I thought you had like... a _bottomless_ storage of sciency stuff on everything!"

Jane had to yell again to be heard over the noise of moving around, opening chips bags and generally doing stuff in not even nearly as gracious way as Maura could.

"You bought an entire rack of snacks but you didn't get a movie?" she called, laughing at the irony of this meeting being titled a "movie night".

"I thought you were picking!" Jane said with her mouth full of chips as she loudly threw herself on the couch, handing the bag to Maura. The doctor was happy to notice that regardless of the past events, Jane was still very comfortable around her place. Except for the fact that they weren't sitting as close as usual.

_"Remember, it's all for the better."_

"You don't want to watch a documentary, Jane." she smiled calmly at her.

"But..."

"You don't need to just _do things for me_." Maura interrupted.

"Maura..."

It was a ridiculously stupid situation. In the past they used to just randomly pick a relaxing movie and enjoying watching it just for the company. The two of them could make the most banal plot-line and the flattest of characters interesting when they started commenting and joking around. Jane had watched documentaries on the newly designed procedures for targeting antibiotic-resistant genes in MRSA pathogens and Maura had accompanied her through specials on topics ranging from "guns and ammo" to "baseball through the ages".

Yet now they had reached a point where it was somehow meaningful who picks the movie.

"Let me make a suggestion." Maura said playfully, wanting to ease the situation.

"Yeah, sure."

"I have several comedies and drama movies lying around. I will take those along with some documentaries that I have interest in, and I will take the disks you have brought but we never got a chance to watch. Then we will choose one at random."

"Sounds good!"

* * *

It took Maura no longer than two minutes to assemble the tiny collection.

"You wanna draw?" Jane asked.

"Not really." Maura shook her head in thought. "I suggest we each take one disk away at a time. There are... let me see... seven of them. The one remaining wins!"

"Okay."

Maura ordered with her soft and polite bossiness.

"You go first. Close your eyes."

Jane did as she was told. She could hear Maura scrambling to place the disks in her hands as she would hold playing cards. She didn't know how long she stood there waiting but it was long enough for the cancellation of her vision to give way to heightened sensitivity on the rest of her senses. Her nose was the first to report a sensation: Maura's perfume. Something exotic. Something fruity. Something delicious.

Jane opened her eyes as she caught herself enjoying it, scared by her body's response to it.

_"It's just a perfume."_

"Hey! No peeking! Go ahead now." Maura scolded her in jest.

"Alright alright!"

Jane reached for the disks pulling one out of Maura's grasp.

"Maybe you should take two more. It would be impractical to take turns seeing as it took me so long to take a proper hold."

And Jane obliged, pulling two others from Maura's hands before opening her eyes for them to switch roles.

"Your turn." she said, leaving the picked ones aside, not bothering to see what she eliminated, and taking the pile from Maura.

The blonde smiled excitedly and held her hand out, hovering over Jane's hands. Her eyes were closed, but Jane's were carefully observing Maura's hand, marveling at the tenderness, and more importantly, lack of scars on it. The smoothness must feel amazing!

"This one!" the loud squeal shook Jane away from her swooning.

_"The hell, Jane? Stop it. Seriously."_

"And this and this!" the rest came in two quick successions, and Jane took a second to note what had been the result of their choosing.

"_This means war._ Nice. Just as I'm trying to patch things up with you." She said sarcastically, not fully meaning to vocalize the second sentence. But it happened, and she only hoped Maura wouldn't react to it in any inopportune way.

"Jane?" Maura started, bringing Jane's mind's and eyes' attention to herself.

"Yeah?"

"I am a mature, emotionally stable woman. There is no need for "patching things up"." she looked at Jane reassuringly for a second, then continued. "I know you understood what I meant, and I know you will understand that I will go past this. And... considering the things you said yesterday, I think we could be on a path to going back to how things were."

"Maura... what do you..."

"What I'm trying to say is simply that I agree we should try to be friends again. And that I'll get over you."

Maura used the short pause while Jane stood not knowing how to respond to grab the disk from her. "Now let's watch this." she said and settled on the couch. "Come on."

* * *

It was a happy evening in the life of Maura Isles. She had already let her guard down, at least to the level appropriate for them to loosen up, but not so much as to give up on her decision to get over Jane. They were comfortable on the couch, sitting close but separated with a bowl of popcorn. Jane had found it amusing to comment on the believability of the fighting on screen, and Maura couldn't help but make remarks regarding the way the characters dressed. In a short time, the main character and her best friend were enjoying a girls night in, sitting together with glasses of wine.

"Those are some giant glasses!" Jane commented.

"That depends. I mean..."

"Maura?" Jane interrupted her, still looking at the screen and Maura couldn't see her face properly to read her expression.

"Yes?"

She raised her torso, leaning to grab the remote from the coffee table. She paused the movie and tuned to her friend.

Maura noticed her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were full of worry. It gave her a glimpse of an invested caring Jane. And as much as she thought it hardly possible that things snap back quickly, Jane must have been trying really hard, or had one hell of an epiphany, for things to seem so warm and inviting so fast.

"I was thinking... I thought you'd tell me yourself, but since you didn't so far..." Jane started hesitantly.

Maura hated the small breaks because they gave her mind enough time to panic and envision the worst possible scenarios about what her conversation partner could follow with.

"What happened, Maur? Why aren't you drinking?"

* * *

A/N: No comment here... the next chapter will follow shortly.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimers in previous chapters.

You know how I said I'll post two chapters tonight? Here's the catch. I'll be going on a field trip until the 2nd/3rd. Sorry to say the next update will be after that :/ Anyways, I was really tense writing this. I hope you like it.

* * *

The doctor sighed, preparing herself, thinking of the best way to tell Jane of how she lost her mind in the past few days. But Jane seemed too impatient and kept going.

"That _"comportment"_ you're ashamed of? I mean it must've been either that why you hate wine all of a sudden... _OR!_ _Or_, a completely different reason! Like... Maura, if you worry that you could get drunk with me and... I don't know, do something... you really shouldn't. Shouldn't worry I mean. I... I mean it's me, I'd understand."

'Relax, Jane. It's okay."

Jane sat quietly, absorbing every word uttered by the beautiful woman in front of her, and she couldn't grasp how was it possible that she, such an innocent human being, would divert herself in such manner. She couldn't help the tears starting to drop down her cheeks.

Her first date had been planned ahead, Maura said. A little glass of red wine for starters, expecting everything to be smooth and calm. But after the first cocktail it had all gone askew. Vodka with this and rum with that, drink after drink, regardless of the timing or appropriateness. She hadn't realized how she was behaving, she said, until after it had been done. And she couldn't hide the remorse filling her heart as she sat in front of Jane pouring it out.

When Maura stopped talking, there was a short bit of time during which Jane was biting her lip nervously, with still worrisome eyes, waiting for more, in case there were things she wasn't told yet. But then nothing else came but the dead silence in between them and the calm self-loathing radiating from Maura. Jane threw her arms around the only person she felt comfortable embracing, and held her tight, swearing to herself to never let her take such a path again. Although Jane might not have been actively and consciously thinking it, in the back of her brain Maura was still the purest and most wonderful human being Jane had encountered.

"Maura I'm sorry!" she cried, burying her head in Maura's shoulder, letting her eyes wet the soft blonde strands. Her arms were strongly wrapped around her, seemingly leaving marks on the doctor's back as it was being pushed into a stronger and firmer hold.

"Jane, it's over. I'll get over it." she tried to compose herself, aware of the lack of benefits of dwelling on past mistakes.

They kept still like that for an amount of time neither could approximate, not wanted to or cared about. Jane didn't have the strength to stop the thoughts telling her that that was so right, nor the will to care about her improper heart rate. It just came as by default that in that moment of trust and consolidation, none of the reckless fighting mattered. Jane was there, with Maura in her arms and finally felt at peace.

* * *

"Ooh! Slow down boy!" Jane laughed as one of the guys on screen confessed his love to the main character, wanting to get her in bed. Maura felt the vibrations from the laughter and tried to shut the thoughts that acknowledged how pleasant they felt. After the long hug the women shared, they remained physically close. Maura's head was leaning on Jane's shoulder, another comfort that she couldn't force herself to bring to a halt.

"Is that actually going to work?" she asked, amused, yet disappointed when the scene ended, leaving her question unanswered.

"Guess it did!" Jane yelled, fully immersed in the story played in front of her.

"I don't like guessing!" the other woman objected.

"Well, it's obvious Maura! The movie is PG13, they're not gonna show them do it!" Jane turned to her, raising her eyebrows.

"It's still only a guess." Maura wouldn't abide, primarily because of her genuine dislike of guessing, yet partly because she actually wanted to teasingly provoke Jane. "Now shush, I want to listen."

"Did you just sh..?" Jane started, but another quick "Shush!" made her cut the sentence short, returning to the two friends on screen discussing picking the right guy.

_"Do you think it's possible to love two people equally?"_

_"Love? Yes. Be in love? No."_

_"What do you do when you don't know what to do?"_

_"I ask Bob."_

_"Your husband Bob? _Bob _Bob?"_

_"Yeah. I mean I know he's fat and ridiculous, but he's _my_ fat and _my_ ridiculous. And I like the way that I am with him."_

_"I like the way that I am with Jane."_ Maura thought shaking her head as if chastising herself.

_"Don't choose the better guy. Choose the guy that's gonna make you the better girl."_

She noticed her friend next to her switch uncomfortably, and turn to her. Having her eyes drawn away from the TV, she moved to look at her too. Within seconds, she got the weirdest and most intense adrenaline rush, as she, for the first time, found her best friend's expression unreadable. Due to fear or excitement, she didn't know. The only certain thing was that it became impossible to move her own gaze away from the dark eyes. She saw Jane gulp and open her mouth slightly, breathing heavily and licking her lips nervously again. All decisiveness Maura kept regarding moving on and getting over Jane disappeared as she felt the warm sensations of being so close to her.

"Maura..." she said in a low voice, husky as ever.

Maura felt her own teeth biting her lip involuntarily, as she struggled to speak. Their bodies were sewn together, and their faces mere inches apart. Maura realized she had been holding her breath, yet didn't manage nor even try to renew her breathing pattern.

"_You_ make me the better girl, Maura."

For a second, minute, year, eon... the entire world had stopped spinning.

Jane's warm breath was tickling her, making her shiver.

Jane's eyes were roaming hers.

Jane's lips were trembling.

"Jane..." she only managed a whisper.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, sorry for the mean!

Nothing is set yet, so, see you around June 3rd.

p.s. please review :)


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimers in previous chapters.

A/N: Hey guys. Guess who's back! Actually I got back from the trip about 3 days ago (it was amazing, even a bit inspiring ;) if you know what I mean), but I had prom night and long days of sleeping as follow up so I couldn't really write. But here it is, finally, and a bit longer than usual. I hope you like it. Thanks for waiting.

* * *

She heard her own name whispered, almost moaned, in the most gentle manner Jane thought possible. The woman in front of her was obviously breathing heavily, not unlike herself, and those hazel eyes were flickering between Jane's eyes and lips. The glare was deep, intense and seeking answers, and it brought back the memory of when she first saw it.

_They had agreed to do something "outside of work". It was supposed to be a simple evening, lacking major plans, but with only casual drinks and chat to fill the time. Jane strolled in, immediately noticing the beautiful blonde already occupying the table. Her hair was falling down her shoulders, past the cleavage line of her tight red dress. She looked gorgeous, stunning even, completely out of place in the bar they had agreed to meet at._

_"Hey!" Jane greeted. "Hello, Jane." Maura nodded, rising from her seat to great her, catching her in an unexpected hug, allowing no time for Jane to announce she was "not a hugger". And there and then, after the astonishingly comfortable embrace had been broken, leaving Jane surprised, the hazel eyes were still very close, inspecting her expression._

_"Are you okay? You seem nervous!"_

_Her colleague was staring at her. Jane tried clearing her head of the embarrassing thoughts that arose there._

_"No! No! I'm just... I still haven't processed the situation. It's weird.. seeing you... our of work!"_

_ Maura smiled. It was a calm understanding smile, but Jane doubted the doctor knew the faltering was brought about by the magnificent view and feel of her body. She tried to compose herself as Maura took her hand and softly pulled her to the seat._

_"Come on!"_

At that moment Maura's lips weren't forming a smile. They were slightly open, expectant and eager. A sudden primal urge shook Jane's body and she realized her own eagerness to satisfy them.

_"This is insane!"_

_"Stop."_

But she couldn't stop herself. Her torso was involuntarily bending forward, slowly decreasing the inches between them.

_"It's Maura!"_

_"She's a woman!"_

But the flashback and her attempts to persuade herself that this was not right only summoned more opposing realizations: It has always been so. She had always wanted Maura. There were only social norms that misguided her all this time.

Jane stopped moving, staring at the soft pair of lips, craving their taste. Neither her mind nor her body appeared to be in full control. Or any control at all. She was left hesitant, terrified by her own acts. She looked up at Maura's eyes again. It only took a moment.

* * *

Jane's wonderful dark eyes. Jane's cheeks and nose and curls and ears. Jane's proximity. Jane's delicate scent.

Too much to bear.

_"Now or never."_

For only a millisecond Maura saw Jane's confused eyes before closing her own. All rational thoughts had vanished long ago. In a flash, she felt herself lounging forward, her arms taking hold of Jane's shoulders, pulling her closer.

After what seemed like a lifetime of control and withdrawal, Maura's lips firmly pressed into Jane's.

It was a sensation she wasn't expecting to actually ever feel. Her heart was erratically pounding in her chest as Jane's lips sent a vibration through her. She inhaled deeply, allowing her nasal receptors to relish the brunette's shampoo's scent. She pressed her hands even harder on the back of Jane's shoulders, succumbing to her needs with no consideration for tenderness, wishing only for the woman to not escape her grasp.

And then, as fast as she jumped in, Maura took her lips off of Jane, moving her head on the side with eyes still closed, avoiding eye contact.

She hugged Jane tightly, sighing.

"I'm sorry Jane. I just really had to do that!" she said calmly, still not hit by a realization about what had just happened, and the potential future repercussions. Yet it appeared those came very fast as she felt Jane push her away from the hug. Tearing up under closed eyes, Maura prepared to start apologizing again. She was stopped. Jane's mouth was now on hers, hurriedly asking for more.

What else was there for Maura but to comply? What else would she want but to succumb? What was there that could become awkward that didn't already have reasons to? What else but enjoy?

"Jane..." she moaned in the woman's urging lips.

* * *

Instead of drawing her further in, the groan escaping Maura shook Jane out of the frenzy. She pulled her head back with eyes wide open observing the obviously wanting blonde in front of her.

"Don't... um... don't apologize!" she blurted out, almost jumping up from the couch.

This was her best friend. This was a woman. A woman who admitted her feelings to her. And Jane had no idea what was happening with hers. Rejection didn't seem like an option she could offer. Rejection didn't seem like an option Jane herself wanted. Yet she was a coward and couldn't bring herself to offer anything else.

"Jane. Please stop. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

Maura got up as well, reaching for Jane's upper arms with her own. But Jane couldn't stand still. She pulled her arms up to her dark wild locks and started stammering again.

"It's okay. I ... It's my fault. I think. Not fault. That's NOT what I meant. My... doing. I'm sorry! I'm sorry Maura."

She pulled away completely and nearly ran.

Maura's eyes had long ago given way to the fluids conveying her state.

"Jane, stop. Please. You said you'd understand!" she cried.

The tall woman stopped in front of the door.

She lowered her head, licking her lips nervously and took a deep breath.

"I need some air."

"Jane, I tried... I try to move on!"

Maura's sobbing reached her ears and broke another tiny piece of her heart away. Jane turned. It took her four steps to come in front of Maura, two hasty hands to grab her neck and one pair of wet needy lips to bring to hers.

The fervent hands in her hair heated her body up to unbelievable states.

It tasted better than anyone she had ever kissed.

It made her giddier than being this close to anybody else.

It made her happier than all joyful moments and memories in her life altogether.

It made her heart rush and her stomach squirm.

She lifted her head up escaping the miraculously pleasant embrace and before she could think or do anything else she closed Maura's front door behind her. The walking to her car and the road to the apartment were a blur in her head, and she didn't even remember climbing the stairs or ringing the bell. But she did snap out of her trance when she saw the unexpected guest where she sought shelter.

* * *

"What are you doing here Casey?" she growled.

"Good evening to you too! And, I could ask you the same thing." He had gotten up from his chair, approaching her, but she seemed in no mood to receive a greeting kiss.

"Frankie's my brother. But I hardly remember you two hanging out."

"Hey hey Janie! Calm down. What's up?" her brother intervened.

"I need to talk to you." she said more quietly now, still not taking her eyes off her boyfriend, inexplicably furious at his presence.

"Okay, go ahead."

"In private!" she snarled.

"Seriously, Jane?" even Casey seemed agitated now.

"I should be a couples counselor or something. You'll make me so rich!"

Frankie was laughing lightly, trying to brighten up the situation, but with little success.

"Okay, fine. Come here." he said, taking her by the hand, and throwing an apologetic glance at the baffled guy behind him.

Jane shut the door to his bedroom rather violently.

"What happened, Janie? Why are you so upset?"

"Why's he here?"

"He was asking for some advice. I take it you two were fighting."

Jane was pacing through the room now, messing her hair up with her hands as she failed to calm down.

"Frankie. We kissed." she whispered.

"That doesn't seem like a problem."

"No Frankie! Me and Maura."

"It was about time." he chuckled, shaking his head up and down approvingly.

"Stop laughing at me."

"I'm not Jane! I'm just telling the truth."

"Frankie you're taking this awfully lightly. Maura. My friend. A female friend!"

"So?"

"So... it's not right!"

"Says who?"

"Umm! Oh I don't know! Everyone?!" she yelled, throwing her arms up, shocking Frankie for they had been talking very quietly by then.

"That's not true, Jane. Calm down."

"I'm calm. I'm just... confused!"

How was he supposed to help her if she didn't open her mind and eyes herself.

"Where would you rather be now? In my living room or in hers?"

Jane stopped, looking defeated and sat on his bed with slouched shoulders. Frankie felt his words gaining power and went for the full hit.

"Who do you want to spend your time with, Jane? Who do you want to be around? Who really, truly, genuinely makes you happy?" he asked fast, not waiting. It was Jane, not him, that needed the answers.

"In whose arms would you rather fall asleep tonight?"

"That is so fucking cheesy Frankie!" she shook her head.

"Answer it!"

She looked up. Her expression was soft and she was on the verge of tears. She jumped up and pulled her brother in a hug. The tears started pouring and left marks on his t-shirt.

"Frankie?"

"Yes?"

Jane moved away, wiping her face with her forearm, and with lips withdrawn and eyebrows slightly raised she looked in his caring eyes.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

She ran out as fast as she came, not even noticing Casey calling after her.

* * *

The weather was unusually wet and rainy lately, but it didn't bother her. Maura quite enjoyed the sound of the drops hitting her windows as she laid in her bed staring at the ceiling. She had kissed Jane and Jane had kissed her back. Multiple times. But she ran away. So many bridges had been crossed, so many plasters had been put over open wounds and so many things had been said and done in barely over a week's time.

Maura didn't like guessing, and therefore usually refrained from predicting any outcomes, but now despite wanting to, she couldn't craft a viable future scenario. Shockingly, she even attempted "listening to her gut" as Jane liked to put it. And yet, it was the most uncertain the doctor had been about anything. She simply saw no path to be taken or behavior to be adopted.

Clueless and helpless, she laid, slowly dozing off into sleep, when the sound of her doorbell startled Maura and made her jump.

_"Jane?"_ she asked herself. Fearing disappointment, she dreaded hoping. Yet there was nobody else she could imagine visiting her at this hour.

Slowly she sat up, sighing, and went downstairs.

She opened her front door to a crying, messy, wet-haired tall woman, who lifted her bowed head and failing to compose herself before speaking, blurted:

"I don't think you should move on, Maura. Because I don't think _I_ will."

* * *

A/N: It's been almost two weeks of brainless drunk partying really. Add the fact that I was rushing to finally update today and you can see why the writing might seem a little rusty. I'll pick it up for the next one if needed. Please review.

I love you all!


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own nothing, as proven by the non-canon state of the sweethearts. And I doubt I could make money from this even if I wanted to.

* * *

Maura was utterly perplexed, wondering if she had fallen asleep. Well, if she was dreaming, at least it wasn't a nightmare.

"What are you saying?" she asked, tilting her head in disbelief, before, like earlier that evening, she got stunned by Jane's powerful lips. Maura reached out to pull Jane's body closer, aroused by the dripping shirt below her fingertips, tickled by the dark wet hair. The kiss was even more aggressive than the one Maura had figured for Jane's "goodbye kiss" before she ran out of her house.

Jane's hands found her waist and used them to press to her even harder. Maura was no more restrained either, having tangled her hand into Jane's hair and using her own lips to hungrily envelope Jane's lower one. She was glad to grant entrance to the demanding protruding tongue seeking it. An unstoppable moan escaped her as she, at last, discovered Jane's taste. She felt a pressure on her side and Jane's strong arms turning her and pressing her to the wall.

"Jane!" she nearly screamed, pleasantly taken aback by this abrupt assault.

"Don't stop me now!" was the response, grunted into her lips. Jane had obviously misjudged the exclamation.

"I have no intention to."

"Good!" Jane approved rapidly, returning to the exploration of Maura's mouth.

It went on for a few more minutes, this heated discovery of new sensations they provoked in each other. Neither dared to utter a word through it, fearing any stop would be permanent. Their hands were roaming each other's hair, backs and necks, reluctant to move it further.

Maura, because she was afraid she would scare Jane away.

* * *

Jane, because she was extremely shocked by what was already happening.

They were lost in another realm, drowning in dopamine, when the draft from the open window and front door shut the latter loudly. It made both of them jolt, taking them a few seconds to come to their senses and note where the sound came from.

They were still holding each other incredibly close, though their eyes were fixated on the door. Jane was the first to smirk, recovering from the bang that startled her.

"Just the draft." she said, turning to the woman she had pinned to the wall. Maura turned her head to her slowly, and with a semi-smile looked up at her friend.

The hazel eyes were restless and puzzled, though evidently exultant. Jane couldn't help the grin spreading wide across her face.

"Maur..." she began. The eyes never left hers. "I don't have a clue what I'm saying. It just... felt right. _This_ feels right."

"If you had been drinking I would have dared to assume it was the result of the alcohol." Maura shook her head, laughing softly.

"What? Really?! Maura, no! I'm not drunk! I'm... I'm serious."

The rush from the kissing was wearing off and Maura seemed to be starting to use her head again. She trembled, as if to move away defensively, but was still held and Jane was guiltily content she was confined in her arms.

"So I should believe that you watched a movie and now you're suddenly enlightened and want me?"

"No! Maura it's... I can't explain it, okay? It's weird for me." Jane became somewhat anxious. Her arms were still on the smaller woman's back and she could sense the exotic scent stronger than ever before. She might have been lacking ideas regarding how to act or what to do, but she was certain of what she craved. She looked at Maura, seeking permission, and this time gently approached her soft sweet lips.

* * *

Compared to their first assertive kiss, the frenzied follow-ups, Jane's "goodbye kiss" and her very recent hungry assault, this was quite a different sensation. Maura knew Jane to be the toughest and bravest woman she'd met, and yet one who became caring and tender in times of need. But, Maura was now experiencing a different kind of tenderness - physical; and it wasn't Jane's warm greeting hug that she often enjoyed. It was the delightful tenderness of Jane's fingers on her neck, the soft nibbling on her upper lip and the calm irregular warm breaths intertwining with her own ones.

Gentle. Reassuring. Pacifying.

Jane moved away softly, lowering her forehead on Maura's. She then drew the woman away from the wall, and slid her hands along her back, pulling her in a fervent hug, moving the head from Maura's to her shoulder.

"You wanna finish that movie? See who gets the girl?" she chuckled.

The tiny vibrations soothed Maura, and she nodded into Jane's collarbone.

"Yes, though we need to get you dry first."

She felt Jane's hand move from her back down her arm, and take her by the hand. Maura returned a gentle squeeze and went to get her new clothes.

* * *

They had resumed their comfortable seating in front of the TV, as well as their relaxed joking commentary of the movie. Surprisingly, there wasn't the tiniest hint of awkwardness between them. Neither mentioned what just went through or what it implied. Or at least not until the movie ended. After the credits started rolling, Maura turned to Jane.

"So?"

"Good watch." she nodded, taking the empty bag of chips from her lap and placing it on the table in front.

"Jane?"

She turned to Maura, with an inquiring look on her face, and by Maura's expression immediately noted that she was about to talk about something serious. She sat back, somewhat worried and turned to her friend. Was it still friend? Was that was she was going to talk about?

"Yes?"

"What comes now?"

Jane took a deep breath and said most sincerely: "I haven't thought about it."

"Well, I suppose I got the impression you went away to think."

"Um, yes. And no! Not about the implications."

She was now subconsciously rubbing the scars on her hands, genuinely unsure about the question at hand.

"What about Casey?"

Jane was startled by the name and fairly ashamed to realize that she hadn't spent a single thought on him during the entire course of events.

"I'll figure it out, Maura. Don't worry." she whispered guiltily.

"Jane, what do _you_ want?"

It made Jane look up as there was finally a question she had an answer to. Her cheek lifted up on its own in a smirk and her eyes opened wide.

"You." She leaned front, supporting herself on her arms and brushed Maura's lips with her own. She stared at the happy pair of glowing hazel eyes facing her, and, quickly rising up, she surrendered to the beam on her face.

"I'll take care of this."

She walked out of the house and into the car, started it, revved the engine up and, heading to face _him_ in her apartment, ordered to herself:

_"Make things right, Rizzoli!"_

* * *

A/N: It's weird for me to flip to writing such positive and cheerful things, but I **_promise_** we're not done with the angst. Next chapter will follow soon.

I'd really like to know how you see the story. Even if it's negative, it inspires me. Some of you could've already seen their comments affect the writing :) So please please please review! :D


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimers in previous chapters.

A/N: I had somewhat of an "epiphany" today. We all know that in the show Maura's designated bed side is on the right (from her POV when she is laying) and Jane's on Maura's left. I realized that in the scenes I was writing where Jane and Casey were sleeping or were just in the bed, I always saw/imagined Jane on the right side of the bed. I know it might sound lame, but I took it as a subconscious sign that "something doesn't fit" about the Jane/Casey relationship.

Okay, quirky thoughts over.

Read ahead :)

* * *

"You know! I've told you this and I've shown this and it's freaking obvious to the entire world! I love her!"

"Look, Casey..." Frankie was desperately trying to fend off his attempts at finding out about the conversation that occurred behind closed doors.

"No. I don't want to hear excuses. Everything has been so weird lately. She's been yelling and running and fighting... and this stupid bruise on my face is not because I fell in the shower!"

In the little time Frankie had spent with Casey, this was definitely the most aggravated he had seen him. The usually composed blond guy's face was now rapidly reddening, twitching with anger and anxiety.

"You need to chill off."

"No, I don't! It just damn feels like everyone is hiding something from me." he said, staring into Frankie's eyes as if that was going to break a dam and let all truths pouring out.

"You're being paranoid." Frankie said, patronizingly tapping his shoulder before sitting back down, in vain attempt to shake the tenseness of the situation away.

"Am I? Me and Jane had a fight a few days ago and she ran off on me. I followed her but I lost track. I checked the guesthouse, she wasn't there, but she was apparently in the morning. So where do you think she spent such late hours in the night? Her friend was out of town!"

"She was here."

"Bullshit!"

"Saturday night. She came near midnight, stayed a couple of hours."

"Do I look stupid?" he said, gritting his teeth. "Why didn't she sleep over here then?"

Frankie looked at the furious Casey. Taking a sip of his beer, he shook his head at him and, again, wondered how he was to persuade him he wasn't being lied to.

"She wanted to talk to Ma."

"In the middle of the night?" he was pressing.

"Yes."

"Why?!"

Casey's aggressiveness had been slowly pushing Frankie, and it finally became too much.

"Well you must've pissed her off damn much, that's why!" he yelled at his sister's boyfriend.

The blond man obviously noticed that he was crossing limits with this person he wasn't personally close to, and sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry, I told you already, I just don't know what to do."

Frankie raised his eyebrows and went for his beer again. An awkward silence started settling as Casey was hesitant to speak and Frankie was considering how to mollify the situation.

"I know that something is going on, Frankie. I guess I'll just confront Jane on my own again."

And yet it was clear that a confrontation was to only impair Jane's existent insecurity, and, combined with her temper, could bring about a much more substantial chaos. The brother was aware that it was of her best interest to be allowed a little time unprovoked by Casey, and decided he was to handle a portion of the mess himself.

"Okay, fine. But she'll hate me for telling you, and you owe me."

* * *

She entered the apartment quickly, her eyes surveying the living room for her boyfriend. Yet, all she noted were the leftovers of take-out dinner, the messy couch and the TV on, but muted.

"Casey?" she asked, tentatively, not met with a response. She was wondering if he had time to come home from Frankie's apartment already. Probably. Her keys loudly encountered the table making Jane wince. Remembering he might be sleeping, she started approaching the bedroom using short and careful steps as if sneaking in. Casey was stretched out asleep on the bed, looking oddly peaceful, and Jane shuddered at the thought of the imminent talk and how it would be carried out in the morning. Walking quietly to the bathroom she took her top off. It had been a part of the little collection she had left behind at Maura's and had switched for her soaked shirt earlier. Her sweatpants shortly followed it into the laundry bin.

Knickers and bra were swiftly thrown aside as Jane stepped into the shower. She set the water balanced between what was to get her blood rushing and what was known as therapy for overly hormonal teenagers. She tilted her head back, closing her eyes, allowing the water to start its gentle caress from her head down her shoulders and chest.

_"Me and Maura kissed."_

The relaxing stream failed to clear her mind, but rather brought the thoughts flowing even more.

_"It was so enjoyable!"_

Jane ran her hands through her hair, making a small mess of it, but helping it wet properly. She then moved the wandering hair strands off her face and rid her eyelids from water drops.

_"We are both women."_

Shaking her head, she became mechanical, robotically shampooing her hair, and cleansing her skin. This perfunctory behavior facilitated the overlooking of scars that she otherwise failed to do. It also contributed to the successful ignoring of the bewildering torrent of thoughts and ideas. When did it happen? When did her predispositions change? She even had a boyfriend. _Boy_friend.

It took only a few minutes before she rinsed her entire body and stepped out, hastily drying herself with a towel before wrapping it around her head.

_"Shit!"_ she screamed to herself when she realized it was going to take her eons to dry her impossibly thick long hair, subconsciously hearing her mother yelling at her not to go to sleep with it wet.

* * *

She failed to understand how quickly and in what manner it had all come. Two days ago she had woken up in a hotel room with Hannah, a woman she barely knew. Yesterday she and Jane had been in front of her house, supplying drama for the entire neighborhood. And this morning Jane asked her to spend time together, a plan that ended with them making out, quite passionately so. And funnily enough, no alcohol was involved.

No matter how big her disbelief was, Maura was feeling high, floating on memories and the remnants of dopamine in her brain. It might have appeared surreal but she undoubtedly liked it. She wasn't so swayed to believe that the situation would clear up perfectly like the last episode of a soap opera, and knew that some inconveniences might arise. It was rationally unbelievable, but she felt that the Jane she trusted had spawned back from wherever Casey had made her disappear before. She shut her scientific mind telling her there is always room for trouble and she could get hurt again, and chose to savor the moment. With a grin on her placid face she allowed sleep to take over.

* * *

Jane pulled her hands up to rub her eyes, and when opening them, realized the space on the bed next to her was unoccupied. She pulled up, supporting herself on her shoulders and looked about the room. Distant noises appearing to come from the bathroom reached her ears as she got up to find Casey.

He was standing in front of the mirror with nothing but a towel around his waist, freshly showered, and smiled as he saw Jane at the door. He took the toothbrush out of his mouth and mumbled a cheerful "good morning".

"Good morning to you too." she replied. "You seem um... oddly cheerful!"

"You know I was going to wake you up with a kiss and a breakfast, but you got up earlier than usual." he said, after rinsing his mouth with water and leaving the brush in its holder.

"Really?" Jane was puzzled.

"Yeah. I guess I'd have to _settle_ for kissing you awake." he laughed, as he quickly approached her, gluing their lips together. His breath was minty and she could sense his cologne, wondering why it didn't bring her goose bumps as it usually did. It didn't take her long to recall the reasons. She almost jumped realizing last night's occurrences were no dream.

"Casey... I need to... Let me first of all apologize for being... edgy! At Frankie's. Yesterday."

"Hey hey no worries. I talked to him and, well, it's sort of my fault for interfering."

Jane stared at him, perplexed, clueless as to what had happened or had been said.

"No need to fake unawareness, he told me what happened."

"WHAT?" she yelled, pulling out of the arms he had wrapped around her waist.

"Don't be mad at him, I was very insisting."

"The hell? Why the fuck are you so cheerful, you're into that?"

She folded her arms, stepping back defensively.

"Jane, calm down. Who wouldn't like a surprise birthday party? Don't flame up!"

She opened her mouth wide, slowly processing what went on. Her mental calendar popped up as she, in her mind, saw tomorrow's date tagged "Casey's bday". The idea that she hadn't for a single moment thought of it started sinking in along with a tremendous amount of guilt.

"It's funny when you fail to play it like you don't know." he said, jokingly, kissing her again. "To be fair, I didn't buy it at first. I thought it had something to do with Maura again. But he showed me the drinks and the cups and like silly hats and stuff. I can't believe you bought that. My guess is your mother had a contribution." his smile brightened up his face as he returned in front of the mirror.

Honestly, there had been too many tears shed in the past few days. But at least these last ones that Jane felt incoming and was desperately stopping were out of happiness, and out of complete astonishment at how much she loved her brother. He even prepared it for her even though she hadn't thought about it, let alone ask him for help. She bit her upper lip as she grasped the idea of how amazing he was and how difficult it would be to make it up to him for his support last night. Not that Frankie would ask for it. Just because he immensely deserved it.

"You know, he said you fought about who gets invited, that you wanted a bigger event." he reached for the shaving cream, as he attempted to mimic her "I must admit I heard you actually. "_Oh, I don't know, everyone!"_"

_"He's a genius."_ Jane practically screamed inside her head. Of course, there was the existing fact that she had to talk to Casey, and clarify things. End things. Yet, she didn't have the heart to do it now, a day before his birthday, when he was even expecting a party.

"Oookay then!" she replied, letting her folded arms drop on her thighs as she started walking back to the bedroom. It hurt her that the whole matter had to be stalled for a few days, which now seemed unbearably long, even though the entire situation with Maura had been dragged along for years. It also hurt her that it might hurt Maura.

"Don't be disappointed. I'll fake surprise if I must!" his ridiculous laugh kept echoing as he was obviously beaming.

"Jane!" She heard him call as she started putting work clothes on, hoping with her entire messed up heart that Maura would understand.

"Yeah?" she turned to see him peak from the bathroom, his face covered with foam.

"You think I should've maybe... I don't know, not shaved? Grow a beard?" he said, furrowing his eyebrows, wondering and expecting her response.

"God, no!" she nearly shrieked. "I _HATE_ beards!"

* * *

A/N: Yeah, that last line is an itty-bitty gift from me :) Eagerly awaiting reviews.

;)


	15. Chapter 15

A/n: No start note, giant end note.

* * *

The tall woman nearly slammed into one officer as she was rushing to stop the elevator closing in front of Dr. Maura Isles.

"Hold the elevator!" she yelled, though didn't need to. Maura was already pressing the button to reopen the door. Jane slid inside in a rush and seeming nervous and unknowing how to act, she simply offered a greeting with a sigh.

"Hey!"

"Good morning." the blonde replied, pressing a button, and shooting a glance at the closing doors. As soon as the two of them were alone and out of sight, she stepped forward and reached for Jane's cheek, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

She noticed that she took Jane by surprise and was almost certain it was a pleasant one. This assumption was confirmed by Jane's glowing eyes staring at her when she pulled away.

The elevators doors opened to free the way to the doctor's office.

"Maura, I kind of need to talk to you." she blurted as they walked out.

An aura of concern enveloped over Maura as she faced Jane questioningly.

"Go ahead." she said cautiously. She anticipated it, almost feeling it.

A memory of Jane kneeling in a shower room asking her what her "gut" said rose to the surface of her mind. And Maura finally realized what it meant to listen to her intestines. They were telling her how some clouds of misfortune were blurring what she thought was a now clear Casey-free sky.

She saw Jane hesitate, probably searching for words, when a phone sounded from below. Maura reached for it, but already knew who it was when Jane's started buzzing as well.

"Isles."

"Rizzoli."

They looked at each other as they answered the calls.

"I'll be right there." Maura said.

"Let's take my car." Jane pulled her by the hand, returning the cell-phone in its place on her belt. "We can talk on the way."

* * *

"Jane, what on Earth is going on?!" Maura squealed as Jane made another sharp turn way over the speed limit.

"I have something to tell you!"

"I meant with your driving."

"Relax. I know what I'm doing." the detective tried to assure her.

"Do you?"

Jane looked at her, dubious her driving was still the topic. It was probably just her mind drawing inexistent strings between unrelated things. That's what she told herself.

"Maura, I couldn't tell Casey." she yelled over the horns of the angry drivers around her, not wanting to drag the conversation out any longer. The woman in the passenger seat didn't come across as surprised.

_"Was she expecting this?"_

"Why is that so?"

"It's his birthday tomorrow. I can't break up with him on his birthday!"

"Well, you don't have to wait until tomorrow." Maura snapped at her.

"Sorry?"

"I was simply pointing out that today is not his birthday." she persisted.

"Maura, come on. This thing between us has been in the waiting room for years. I don't think a few days make a difference."

* * *

_"Oh, they make ALL the difference"_ Maura thought, her claim supported by the past several days. But she chose not to say a thing. She was getting quite irritated by the situation, and although a few days were little in comparison to the long wait she endured ever since meeting this wonderful creature, she couldn't bear to witness Jane and Casey's couple behavior any longer. It was painful, to say the least, especially now that Jane had chosen to lure her back in.

"Maura, look, I promise. Seriously. _I promise_, I'll take care of this as soon as I can." Jane attempted when she saw Maura quiet down, before making another sharp right.

"And when would that be?" she asked, annoyed.

"Maura, it's his birthday! I don't want to do this to him."

"Well, what about what you're doing to _me_?"

Jane brought the car to an abrupt halt in front of the yellow tape enclosing the suburban house.

She took a deep breath, slamming her hands to the wheel, and turned to Maura.

* * *

"Fine!" she said. "You know, Maura. I've been around you for a long time and it's surprising how small is the number of the things you got wrong."

Maura tilted her head, eyeing her with interest.

"So, if you think I should tell Casey right now, I will."

"I detect an attempt to make this my doing."

"There was nothing to detect. I _said_ it."

"Jane, you are a brave young woman. But your cowardice when it comes to situations like this is difficult to comprehend." Maura started explaining, as if she were above a dead body describing its COD. "You are trying to," she faltered, "in your lingo, make me the "bad guy"."

"Huh! I'm _not_... a coward, and _you_ are not a bad guy." Jane was nodding her head for no reason she could offer herself. "Okay! This is getting settled right now." she said, resolved, pulling her phone out and exiting the car.

It didn't take long for him to pick up.

"Hey, hi, Casey?"

"Hello. To what do I owe the honor?" he began cheerfully.

"Um, I need you for something. You think you could meet me up at work, say, around four maybe? We just got a case I doubt I'll be home after shift ends."

"Yeah. I'll be out of the center by three. What's it about? "

"Mhm, I just need to talk to you about something."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"For your information, I'm not picking my own gift." he chuckled.

"See you later." Jane rolled her eyes as she hung up on him.

"Happy?" she turned to Maura with a somewhat sassy tone, as she bowed her head to pass under the tape the officer was holding up for them.

"Very." the medical examiner flashed her a seductive smile. Her high heels clinked on the path as she walked into the crime scene herself.

* * *

He was shocked to feel the detective's arms enclose him, especially since she was on the job.

"Little excited sis?"

"Frankie, you... are... amazing!" she said as she pulled back, still holding him by his upper arms.

"I might not be your _big_ brother," he said through a laugh. "but I still gotta look out for you, right?"

"Well, you do a damn good job!"

They both looked at each other with loving eyes, Jane thankful to the universe she had him, Frankie, pleased to have helped his sister out.

"How come you had the party stuff anyways?"

"Ma and I figured you'd need a little help. You had it quite bad the last week. I guess you're fine now?" he smirked, tilting his head towards the medical examiner who was already kneeling over the body, doing her magic as only she could.

Jane barely nodded, embarrassed, nervously placing her hands on her waist. Yet, the happiness radiating from her face was difficult to miss.

"And Casey?"

"Meeting him today. Things will work out."

"Jane, could you come for a second?" They both turned as Maura called.

"Be right there!" the detective's hoarse voice echoed through the room.

"Take care." he said as he turned.

"I owe you, little brother!" Jane replied, quietly this time, and strolled off to meet her colleague, her friend, her _best _friend, and whatever else Maura Isles was to imminently become.

* * *

A/N: Okay, a long note, but there are a few things I figured needed clearing up.

First, I honestly value all of your reviews and I don't get offended or anything, so there's no reason to be hiding behind "guest" if you wish to critique. I appreciate when someone stops me, says, "Okay, hold on, this doesn't seem right". It prevents me from getting my head in the clouds. And it would be great and very useful if I could reply/PM that reviewer to consult, so please, no need to go anon. (This, of course, doesn't apply to all guest reviews, and I apologize if those who it applies to just can't log in or don't feel like getting an account. I'd just be really happy to converse with those who have critique to offer.)

Second, yes, you got me, I'm an only 18yr old non-native English speaker. I didn't want to put it out there. I didn't want people to "tolerate" something in the story just because I was young and foreign. I wanted it to be assessed as any other work.

So, again, keep the reviews coming. If I sound weird, if my writing is too flowery, if my syntax seems off, if anything _REGARDING WRITING_ puts you off, PLEASE keep telling me. I might not reply to many reviews but I read all of them happily and take them into consideration.

I am _happy_ to have you as my audience.

P.S. An answer to one of the reviewers: I am nowhere near using a thesaurus. I just had a quite demanding English teacher. :)


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: As you can see from the text, in my timeline of events, Casey's birthday is on a Wednesday. I was re-watching R&I episode 3x15 and noticed that the date should be Oct 28th, which I didn't take into consideration, not with the weather or clothing or anything. Also, that date is not a Wednesday until 2015 which is not where I imagined my story to be set. That's a little too far out, so, sorry for these tiny discrepancies. I doubt you'd mind, but I had to "confess". :P

Now, finally, happy reading.

p.s. Thanks for the understanding shown regarding my last author's note. And for the _very very very_ inspiring and supportive reviews. I love you :)

* * *

"Two wounds caused by a thin sharp object. One to the chest and one to the neck. The angles indicate that the murderer should have been significantly taller than the victim." the medical examiner reported to the detective while she was leaning over the naked body in the morgue.

"Significantly taller?" Jane cried, moving towards the table, pointing at the victim. Although she never doubted her expertise, she was baffled by Maura's words. "Maura, _this_ guy can barely pass through a regular door. How big does the other one have to be?"

"Well the only other explanation would be that the victim was sitting down. However, the body was found in the middle of the room and there were no chairs nearby. The lack of traces of blood counters the possibility of the body being dragged."

"Okay, let me see this." she approached Maura, who turned towards her, puzzled. "Wait a second." she said, grabbing a pen to use as a weapon. "If I were to stab you, and make the same wounds, how tall would I have to be?"

"Well, you cannot expect me to know just like that!" Maura grumbled. "They are quite vertical, you see." She brought her apparatus to the victim, looking at the image it displayed on her screen. "Not what you would expect if we were of relatively equal height and in front of each other."

"Unless..." Jane started, examining a possibility she hadn't taken a look at yet. "Maura, what if we weren't standing in front of each other. What if we were, say, hugging?"

"What do you mean?" she turned back to the detective.

Jane grasped Maura's arm and stepped forward, joining their torsos. She felt a wave spread through her body at the contact. Maura's sudden intake of air showed she wasn't immune to the position either. Quickly, Jane moved from the face to face arrangement to an actual hug.

"So if your arms are on my waist," Jane started, cueing to Maura to break their usual entangling and place them there. She moved back a tad to leave the doctor space and noticed the smile plastered on her face. Jane stared for a second, moderately confused at the cause of this, when she realized she herself was mirroring Maura with an equally broad grin. The blonde obeyed, moving both her hands on Jane's lower back, gently, taking more time than otherwise appropriate. Even through her top, the soft caress made Jane shudder, and, surrendering to her longings, leaned in to kiss Maura. It was soft and gentle, and neither took the risk of deepening it, knowing they were at work. Jane's hormones started charging through her as she realized she wanted more. A lot more.

Stricken by these thoughts, Jane cautiously moved her lips from Maura's.

"And if my arms were up here," she continued as if nothing had just happened, though still grinning. "I won't be able to stab straight at your chest, but will have to go from above."

"I suppose it is a possibility." the medical examiner wouldn't yield her full agreement.

"The hell?" they both heard a voice from the morgue door. "I'm not even gonna ask." sergeant Korsak said.

"We're trying to recreate the scene." Jane tried to save the situation and eliminate any suspicions or awkwardness that could have developed. "Here, check this out." she called him inside, trying to focus on her casework while the memory of the velvety pair she just tasted still engaged her thoughts.

* * *

"Credit card or cash?" the man from behind the counter asked Casey.

"Credit card. Here you go." He took the plastics from his wallet. It was passed back to him shortly along with a receipt. His hands were obviously shaking as he was trying to sign it.

"It may not be any of my business, but you seem nervous, sir."

"How can I not be?" Casey attempted a casual laugh, pointing at the tiny blue box before picking it up. "What if she says "no" tonight?"

"I'm sure she won't." the man tried to reassure him, politely shaking his head.

"Yeah, let's hope so."

And with that he was out, clutching the little treasure in his pocket.

* * *

"The wife's and the brother's alibis checked out." Jane informed Maura as she pushed the door to the morgue again. They had brought them in for questioning, yet nothing new was found out. "Why'd you call me? You got something?"

"No, Jane..." she started hesitantly, taking her gloves off and leaving them aside. She went around the table to approach the detective, her heels clicking on the floor, and tried to compose herself. "I understand I might have pressured you earlier..."

"No, Maura. It's okay. I... I need a push sometimes. You were right!"

"Well," she licked her lips, staring at the ground, as she usually unthinkingly did before talking. "I think it is unfair of me to..."

"Maura, stop!" Jane took Maura's smooth hand in her own scarred ones. It made the blonde look up at her.

"Are you sure it's okay?" she pleaded with her hazel eyes, staring at the dark pair in front.

Jane lifted her forehead and eyebrows, staring lovingly at the woman in front, not knowing how to persuade her that she's more important.

"Yes! I want this with you..." Jane started explaining, but she was cut off.

* * *

Maura, despite having initiated the process of taking their relationship to the next level, had been particularly cautious in her approaches to Jane. Not wanting to scare the beauty away, she had only made one move after the first, kissing Jane "good morning". And it was gentle and wary.

She didn't really _have to_ lean in herself all the time. Jane was finally taking the courage to kiss Maura back, to virtually assault her, pressing her to a wall, to gently decorate their hug this morning with a kiss, like a cake with a cherry on top.

And now, having controlled herself for so long, Maura decided it was safe enough to throw herself at her loved one. She used her right hand to reach for Jane's grasp on her left one, spread Jane's arms apart, and hurriedly placed them around Maura's own back. Freeing her own arms, she threw them around Jane's neck, locking her fingers in her hair, pulling the tall woman down for a heated kiss.

Was it Jane making her a priority that fueled this moment of passion? Was it the inexplicable feeling that old Jane had returned? Was it pure emotion, contained for too long, surfacing at last?

It was probably all of it together, for how they were consumed in one another one now was incomparable to anything Earthly. Their blood boiling hotter than the geysers of Iceland. The electricity through them stronger than any measurable lightning bolt. Their lips more insistent and powerful than the waters of the Amazon. Their hands more entangled in hair than the lianas in its rainforests.

"JANE?!"

They both snapped at the sound. Maura saw Jane's eyes widen in shock as she turned around to face the intruder.

"What are you doing here, Casey? It's only two o'clock." the sound of her voice was even raspier than usual.

"I could ask you the same thing." he yelled, then turned to Maura. "This is what you were stressing her about? Having couple issues with _my_ girlfriend behind my back?"

Maura saw Jane defensively step up front, posing as a live shield for her before the furious man.

"How long?" he asked impatiently.

"Casey..." Jane's tone was unexpectedly calm.

"HOW LONG JANE?"

"Not even twenty-four hours." she answered calmly. Maura found it hard to understand her attitude, especially since she couldn't see her facial expression. Her voice gave out no guilt, no anger, no hesitation, no apology, but most importantly, no regret. It reassured Maura, warming her infatuated heart.

"Oh yeah? Tell that to someone else. What were you thinking? You're delusional if you expect me to just overlook something as-"

"I don't." she cut him off.

"What?!"

"Casey, calm down, please."

"Jane. I've sacrificed so much for you! A simple "sorry" won't do it!"

"Casey, I'm not saying sorry!" Jane finally snapped, as her voice shifted from composed to irritated. "Casey, I apologize that you had to find out this way," she said rapidly, "but I am not sorry for what I did," she paused to take a breath, "and what I'll _keep_ doing." Jane added, leaving both others bewildered.

Casey wasn't the only one having a hard time believing the words coming out of Jane's mouth. Maura didn't expect such harshness. On the contrary, she expected her to flip into her state of Casey-induced weakness and unreliability. She was both stunned and exhilarated at the present circumstances.

"Are you serious?" Casey asked, moving for the first time, taking a step towards the brunette.

"Dead serious."

He stared at her, gaze full of disbelief.

* * *

"I guess we're done here." he said, after a few seconds of rushed attempts at remaining self-possessed. "I guess we're done overall."

He saw her nod at him, although he expected a greater response. She didn't fight for him, she didn't get anxious, she didn't even argue at all. Her physical aggression commonly demonstrated by clenching fists, gritting teeth, yelling and even swearing was almost gone, brought down to a simple stepping in front of the doctor. Like a lioness guarding her cubs. Assertive. Possessive. Protective.

It didn't appear as of less than 24 hours ago.

Casey was struck with the realization that he might not have been consciously aware of it, but he had felt it previously. Threatened by the calm yet fierce Maura Isles.

He remembered her walking into his office a while back, seeing through him and his condition in no time. "She's my friend." she had said, not promising to keep his secret from Jane.

_"A little more than that now, huh?"_

His mind fished out from his memories the time he first saw her, at the banquet, with Byron. Ugh, that supposed-to-be-double-date night had not gone as expected. And it was in his and Jane's favorite place, where they had their first date after he got back from the clinic and back on his legs. The place they left giggly and lovesick. The place they spent the evening at before they made love again after such a long time.

And yet, Jane didn't even want to get near him after the fiasco of a double date. Or before that. He tried to think of the last time Jane fell seduced in his arms. It was Wednesday, the day before she fought with Maura. Two weeks ago. And even then he didn't feel Jane had completely committed to him.

As he was walking out of the station, Casey knew he should have seen it coming. But he didn't, and it didn't really make a change.

He had lost her.

To Maura.

* * *

*This text has been beta-ed by gidgegirl :)*

A/N: A reviewer "predicted" Jane wouldn't break up with Casey. This is not the customary "we need to talk", so, _technically_, the reviewer was right. ;)

Tell me how you like it.


	17. Chapter 17

I know it's been a while since the last update, but here's a list of excuses:

-I had to move from the city where I study to my hometown for the summer

-I have houseguests, including a baby and a toddler, so it's pretty busy around here

-I was trying out with a beta for roughly the first half of this chapter, although I admit to have accepted only some (about 70%?) of the comments (thanks, by the way! I was rushing to post this, that's why I didn't send the rest.)

-Without the kind of pleasant loneliness and the lack of interruptions of my room, I can't focus.

-For some reason, I lack inspiration here.

-The characters are out of their "usual"s in this chapter and I had hard time picturing how it would go, unlike in other situations.

I'm sorry...

* * *

His heart was frantically screaming at him for not having fought for her, but his mind was well aware that such attempts would have been entirely futile. Casey might have kept his legs, but he had probably lost his clear thinking, as proven by having utterly misjudged the situation. Jane wasn't his to lose in first place.

Sudden rage spawned in his veins and he felt the need to let it free and unrestrained.

A police car went by and stopped behind him.

He saw the officer climb out.

He saw him as an opportunity.

All rational bits of Casey's mind had agreed to discontinue their proper functioning, allowing the animalistic ones to take over. The notions of love, care and proper conduct vanished as fully as if they had never existed. It allowed him to be engulfed by pure carnal vehemence.

"You son of a bitch!" he yelled as the policeman approached the entrance, making him turn around.

Using the element of surprise, Casey smashed his fist in the officer's face.

"What the hell, Casey?" Frankie yelled, staggering back. "Are you insane?"

A police officer who was standing at the door stepped up to settle the situation, making Casey defensively retreat.

"Wait," Frankie stopped his fellow officer. I'll handle it." He straightened himself up and turned towards his attacker, using a sleeve to wipe the blood dripping from his nose.

"You'll _handle_ me?" Casey was off balance and looking angrier by the second. "Like you handled your sister's little lesbian dates?"

Casey's voice was balancing between fury and pained cries.

"You assaulted a police officer, Colonel Jones!" Frankie said, narrowing his eyes whilst trying to control his temper. "You're lucky I don't wanna hurt you."

"Too late, you already did." Casey said, his voice rising. "You supported her little fooling around! You covered for her! And I thought you were _helping me_!"

The spectacle started drawing attention and people were now gathering around, though at a safe distance, to observe the scene.

"Janie's my sister. I want what's best for her." Frankie tried to clarify his loyalties.

The expression on the blond man's face might have appeared placid, but the anger was far from gone. He stepped towards Frankie again, attempting to intimidate him. He had clearly been successful, since his opponent raised his hands, guarding himself against the fury.

"And you didn't think I was best for her?" he said quietly yet potently.

The silence that followed was deafening. Even the makeshift audience was quietly observing. Frankie took a deep breath, and tried to calmly fend Casey's attack off, while feeling his own frustration growing.

"Casey, you need to deal with it. You and Jane _don't_ work."

"_I_ SAY If we work or not!" Casey exploded, his screams destroying the quietness. He swiftly removed the little blue box out from his pocket and opened it, to wave it in front of Frankie's face. "You see this? Does this look like not working? She would have said yes."

"No she wouldn't have, and you know it." Frankie answered.

The stinging on his face still hadn't stopped, and he was actively resisting the need to repay the favor to Jane's ex's face. He heard more officers lining up behind him, yet he wished he was alone, allowed to deal with the coronel by himself.

Through semi-closed, aching eyes, Frankie saw Casey's hand throwing the ring at his face. He realized it was a method of distraction, quickly followed by a fist.

To the observers, it happened too quickly to be fully grasped.

To Frankie's eyes it was an action movie slow-mo scene.

Bending his right knee, he moved his head, avoiding another punch from Casey. He quickly turned to his left, grabbing the arm that tried to leave its mark on him, and twisting it at the right angle and point. Casey turned around, involuntarily.

"For a soldier, you gotta know better." The officer said as the man tried to yank himself away. Two of his colleagues in uniform jumped in, taking hold of Casey on both sides.

"I said I'll take care of it." Frankie turned to them.

"What the hell is going on?" Cavanaugh and the rest of the high officials were now at the entrance, never having looked less happy. The cop who was at the scene from the beginning presented himself as a witness.

"This guy punched officer Rizzoli." he pointed at the fidgety confined assaulter.

"Your friends taking care of you, _officer_?"

It was okay for Frankie to doubt himself or complain about the lack of promotion to his family. It wasn't okay to hear somebody else debase him like that. Especially not Casey.

All control forgotten, Frankie turned around, clenching his right hand tightly. It took a millisecond to crush it in Casey's eye.

"There's a matching one, _colonel_." he accented his title, mockingly. "To complement the one Jane stuck."

A hushed commenting emerged from the policemen and the audience as a result of Frankie's statement. They all chuckled, sending knowing glances to each other. Only one, however, chose to speak up.

"Your girlfriend did this to you?" he asked. "Oh, well done detective Rizzoli!" he added as he saw Jane exit the station, along with Dr. Isles.

"The hell is going on here?" detective Rizzoli shrieked. "Frankie, you okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry 'bout it."

"What happened?" she said turning around, grasping the scene. She spotted the blood above her brother's lips and the way Casey was restrained by policeman. "You were fighting?" she asked both of them, not exactly waiting for a response. "You're acting like children! I can't believe this!" her voice cracked as she was expressing her surprise.

Then again, that surprise seemed as minute as a grain of sand on a beach, when compared to her shock at noticing the shiny piece of jewelry near her feet.

Jane Rizzoli got aggressive for a number of things, she yelled for twice as many, and she could spit out sarcastic comments for nearly anything. And yet, these past few days she engaged in increasingly more situations that left her dumbfounded and speechless.

Maura saw the detective's eyes fixate on the ground and followed with hers. Her jaw dropped as she joined the pieces of the puzzle together, and her eyes nearly watered as she realized she was still missing one: The answer to "Why specifically was Jane so upset?" As earlier today, Jane's back was turned towards her, taking her expression away from Maura's view.

"Jane?" she reached for her arm, failing to catch her, as Jane moved front. She noted the way her fingers curled, twitching. Was she angry? Regretful? Anxious?

"If you have a problem with _me_, you take care of it with _me_!" she yelled at her now ex boyfriend."

"Jane!" Frost grabbed her, keeping her aside. "Don't get into this.

"Dr. Isles," he turned to Maura, "take her away."

_If she'd let me._

"Jane..." she tried again, and Jane turned, though only to pass by her on the way to her car. She was swinging her arms back and front as she walked, and her curls were waving behind her. It made the doctor wonder whether the cause for this sight being incredibly sexy was purely the physical gait, or the overall attitude Jane was sporting. Yet the wonders lasted a mere millisecond, before worries regained their priority in Maura's head.

"Jane, don't go!" she called after her. Just like in one of her nightmares, Maura felt the cloud of fear settle around her along with a feeling of inexplicable loneliness. Luckily, this time it evaporated as quickly as it came when the detective yelled back a familiar phrase:

"Maura, just get in the car!"

At least she wasn't running from Maura too. A warm wave dispersed through the doctor's limbs. Again. She could get used to this feeling, Maura decided.

"Maura, she shouldn't drive, she's furious!" Korsak woke her from her musings.

"I'll take care of it!"

The reassurance she offered was intended for the sergeant, yet it was undeniably needed by Maura herself. She was going to take care of it, right?

Increasing her breathing and walking paces, she reached the driver's door, behind which Jane had already settled, and knocked on it. The driver opened the window and looked at her with partially annoyed, partially questioning eyes.

"Jane, let me drive."

"What? No!" she dismissed it immediately.

"Let's just take my car."

"Maura, _please_, just get in the damn car!"

"Jane, for me?" Maura's was aware her gaze was beseeching. She guiltily curved her lips into the smile she knew Jane couldn't say "no" to, and whispered softly.

"Let me get us out of here."

It worked perfectly, like the words to a magic spell. Maura could see the soul breaking in front of her pleas, and Jane's head dropped, shaking. The brunette closed the car window, opening the door with a loud sigh, and nodded to the woman.

"Well, Maura" she smacked her thighs with her palms. "Lead the way!"

* * *

See, I realized I agree with those of you who thought Casey will get aggressive, so I included this, although it wasn't originally a part of "the plot plan". As always, tell me what you think!

:D


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I'm sorry I didn't finish it before. A lot of things happened. But today it was finally silent and I could go into that world of mine again. I didn't reread or proofread the chapter. Just had to write it down and send it out. I hope you still like it. I just needed some closure.

Thanks for being with me on the ride guys. I love you.

* * *

Maura was now patiently waiting for the traffic light to turn green, yet impatiently expecting to remove the mysterious aura surrounding Jane. She hadn't said a word since they started the car ride, and the doctor was getting anxious and restless.

"Jane, where do you want to go?" she asked finally, using a simple insignificant question to start a conversation.

"Wherever." Jane mumbled, still staring out of her side window.

It took all the will power Maura could summon to not think about all the possible reasons why Jane was avoiding looking at her.

"Is my place okay? I can make you a beverage to calm-"

"Sure, Maura." Jane cut her sentence short, reestablishing the silence in the car, while Maura's worried eyes returned to the road in front.

* * *

A loud trumpeting noise was racking her brain, inhibiting all of the action it was supposed to be performing. She couldn't think clearly, she didn't rationalize where she was moving, nor could she understand what the blonde was telling her. Not that she usually understood! Now, although she tried, she couldn't process her words.

"Until recently, I would have suggested a glass of warm milk. However, currently there are opposing factions arguing on whether the positive or negative effects of tryptophan in it prevail. Interestingly, there is a rather neutral side asserting that the amino acid has little effect, and copious amounts of it would be required to reach a point where it causes a notable change. Based on this, I would choose green tea, although honestly, I'm not a fan of the taste. Yet the presence of the theanine amino acid makes the experience worthwhile. And while..."

Jane's ears perceived it all, but her head remembered none of it. She found herself in Maura's kitchen, facing her while she was ranting about which beverage would decrease her anxiety and blood pressure. Jane didn't notice how they got there, but didn't miss the growing nervousness in Maura's own voice.

"Maura, stop!" she tried to cut her off again.

The doctor quieted down looking at her, and could obviously not wait any longer.

"Jane, talk to me."

"About what?" she knew how stupid the question sounded, but she voiced it to buy extra time for herself.

"This."

"Okay," Jane gave in, "I am astonished by how stupid I am." she admitted, confusing Maura.

"By which I mean, how stupid I almost acted! I can't believe I almost lost something so important!"

* * *

"What do you mean you _almost_ lost?"

The fear of Jane changing her mind appeared in Maura's head several times, and was promptly chased away. Now it was slowly threatening to return.

Maura wasn't talking, and therefore, wasn't lying, yet red spots began appearing on her neck. She only closed her eyes trying to remain composed and rational.

"No, no, don't." she heard Jane step forward, and felt long cold fingers on her own cheek.

"Maura, what I meant is you."

Her chin was involuntarily lifted by the strong fingers gently pushing it upwards.

"I meant, I almost lost _you_!" she blurted, and cleared her throat. "If this didn't happen, between us, I would've said yes! Picket fence, 2.5 children and a dog. Ma would've been thrilled!"

The hand dropped and Maura regretted the loss of skin-to-skin contact, no matter how simple and minute it was.

"But _I_ wouldn't have! _I_ want _you_!" Jane finished, letting her long held breath out.

* * *

"Don't! Please!" Jane whispered, seeing the tear rolling on Maura's cheek. "We've cried too much." she added, before capturing it with her lips. Raising Maura's head higher, she moved her kisses along the cheek, unhurriedly approaching the soft pair of trembling lips. In a quick swift motion the eager impatient lips met hers. It was far from any tenderness they treated each other with. It had an urgency to it, insistence which Jane gladly surrendered to. She felt small hands pressing on her waist, along with a leg pushing hers backwards, crushing her in the kitchen island. Firm teeth attacked her lower lip and the raging hands moved back up to her neck, pulling her down.

"Maur," she managed to say, "Maura, the case!"

The woman pulled away from her, and moved, lips hovering millimeters over Jane's neck.

"I'm done with the autopsy, crime lab results will take a while. As for you, _I _need you more than Frost and Korsak."

The assertion joined Maura's breath in slowly heating up Jane's body.

Maura's lusty glowing eyes looked up at her, full of want.

"Fair enough!" she needed no further debate.

* * *

_"When did this happen. How did we get here? What is the probability of this being an illusion?"_

Maura wouldn't believe the reality she was facing, but only because it felt too good to be true. "Less than 24 hours ago" she remembered Jane saying, and she smirked, thanking the universe and it's tangled ways for bringing her to this moment, with Jane's body on top of hers, after they hastily maneuvered their way onto the couch, unwilling to detach the lips from each other.

Maura didn't even try to stop the elicited moan as Jane began hungrily devouring her neck. Her hands no longer roamed in their former boundaries. She slid under Jane's top and across her back. There was firmness underneath her palms, a strength she found incredibly sexy.

"It's in the way." Jane murmured, rising up on her knees and throwing the "BPD" signed piece of fabric on the floor. "Yours too!"

It made her giggly, and warm and eager. Her skin was on fire, her lips hasty. She rose up slightly to discard her top and land it next to Jane's.

"I should warn you, though." she mumbled through a wide grin, tugging on Jane's lip again, as she sank back down, still gazing at the dark lusty dilated pupils.

"You're not the only one who gets feisty, Jane."

* * *

"No worries, Jane, we got this covered!" Frost's answered calmly.

"Thanks." she said, ending the call and automatically moving her hands to her waist to place the cell-phone in its holder on her belt. Her lips curved up as she realized she's in her underwear.

"All fine?" a messy-haired Maura called from behind her, offering her a glass of water.

"Yes. I don't know if they can replace _you_, though." she smirked before downing the cold liquid.

"I should go back into the station."

"You should go back into your clothes first."

It made the doctor chuckle, her face lit up and Jane felt a sudden rush of happiness shake her body.

Things went so easy. There was no tension. No awkward talks.

And most importantly, there wasn't even need for words.

* * *

She saw two figures as she was closing the door on her way out of the ME's office.

"Hey, what are you doing here? Did they fix you?" she asked Frankie who was exiting the crime lab with sergeant Korsak.

"It was just a nosebleed."

"I know. I know. What about, um..." she stopped nervously.

"He's gone. No charges."

Jane took a deep breath, putting her hands in her pockets.

"Figured you wouldn't wanna deal with any of it." Frankie added as he saw her reaction.

"Yeah, yeah."

"He said... he said he'll be out of the apartment by tomorrow."

"Okay, um," Jane shook her head, drawing the conversation to the case. "What were you doing in the crime lab?"

"Your brother just brought the murder weapon in." Korsak spoke for him.

"What?"

"I got a guy in an antiques store. They sold him a blade. Later he noticed there was some blood smudge that didn't get cleaned properly."

"And how'dya know it's our weapon?"

"Lab said the blood matches the victim's."

"Frost's trying to track the guy down." the older man jumped in again.

"Wow. Well done!" Jane was taken aback. Her face brightened with the display of pride. "And since when do you "got guys around". What, you CIs?" she teased her little brother, although she was also genuinely curious.

"Well..." he shrugged with a content smile that he couldn't repress, before moving towards the elevator behind her.

"He might need some." Korsak added in a low voice once Frankie was far enough. "Word around is he'll fill the detective spot in the drug unit."

And with a fatherly tap on her shoulder he moved to leave her.

"Korsak, wait!" she turned. "I-I'm sorry! About few days ago. I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay. Just take care." he said warmly before following Frankie in the elevator.

* * *

"You went to your brother, didn't you?" Maura asked her with a gentle tilt of her head, interrupting the pleasant silence that reigned the room as they were eating dinner.

"What?" Jane mumbled, her mouth full.

"When you ran out my house yesterday."

"Oh," Jane looked down, remembering, with a gentle, slightly embarrassed smile. "Yeah."

"What did he say to you?" she persisted. The soft light was reaching Jane's face, gently accenting her features. The line of her jaw darkened as she swallowed. Maura was happy to note that the movements were smooth and unrestrained. Jane's muscles seemed relaxed. She wasn't pondering whether to say. She was just settling her words together.

"He..." she looked up at her. "He asked whose arms would I rather fall asleep in."

"You're welcome to try your options." she teased, reaching for Jane's hand. The other woman placed it in her palm, without hesitation but with a squeeze, as if rewarding her.

"Oh, I _know_ I'm gonna like my choice." Jane assured her.

They've stared at each like this other countless times.

Maura has seen it. It has been there before. That glow. The spark. The love in Jane's eyes. It wasn't something the doctor made herself believe. It wasn't a guess or a hunch, but a rather irrefutable evidence.

Jane was there.

She has come back to her.

* * *

So, I forgot to say this. I'll be marking the fic as complete. I had more things in mind, but I just can't write here at home. I hope I'll suck it up and continue with all that could be.

Again, thanks for being with me on the ride guys. I love you.


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